


The Mystery of Haruhi Suzumiya

by GaffJuran, orphan_account



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005), 涼宮ハルヒ | Suzumiya Haruhi - All Media Types
Genre: Baby Haruhi, Bureaucracy, Bureaucrats are the worst, Deep Cross-Continuity Melding, Gen, Knockout Gas, Lawn Care, Monsters, Original Character(s), Reality Bending, Turtles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:54:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 33,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25248745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaffJuran/pseuds/GaffJuran, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A flashpoint in time summons the Doctor to Twenty First Century Japan to protect a young girl with the untapped power to rewrite reality! Time and Space Adventures with the SOS Brigade!
Comments: 4
Kudos: 3





	1. Prologue

Introduction: I'd started this story as part of a plan to do a series of comic covers featuring different incarnations of the Doctor inserted into various anime, from Astro Boy to Haruhi Suzumiya, even Attack on Titan. While it may be awhile before I get it together to draw these pieces, I can start posting the story I had planned for this crossover starring the Eleventh Doctor. Please, if you read this story, be sure to submit your comments and criticisms.

Doctor Who | The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

Prologue

"WHERE is he?" General Strom bellowed.

"Still searching, sir. Our fourth detachment had him cornered in the engineering sector, but he seems to have evaded them. The security system is working to locate him," Lieutenant Seck said in response, pouring over the data currently streaming across the screen.

General Strom strode the bridge impatiently. "How could they lose him? It was a sealed room, all exits covered, he didn't stand a chance!" He had no patience for delegating, Strom was a warrior! He should be tracking the intruder himself.

Lieutenant Seck turned to his superior. "We will find the intruder sir, and we will obliterate him for the glory of the Sontaran Empire!"

Bleep.

Seck jerked back to the screen. "A motion detector has been triggered in the hangar bay! Not one of our men, too large. It must be him! I am alerting all nearby security!"

"Tell them to form a perimeter and hold him there, Lieutenant!" Strom ordered, reaching for his helmet. "I have had enough of this interloper, I will destroy him myself!"

...

A solitary figure stood at foot of a great warbird. One in a fleet of fighter ships stretching out of sight within the alien carrier ship, promising to unleash flaming death on a colony two hours out of range. He smiled sardonically and pointlessly kicked the landing gear with his foot. Humanity. He would never get done saving them.

"Please do not dirty my ship with your puny feet, human scum," General Strom said with confidence. "It is new, you might stain it. Now face me!"

The intruder cocked his head slightly. His broad smile was easy to discern, but he would not face the General. "Yeah, that's me. An unappreciative lout. Honestly, sometimes I don't know what to do with myself. But I know what to do about this."

"Turn around and face me! Unless you wish to die like a coward," Strom repeated, leveling his rifle.

"If I'm not mistaken, we're passing by the fifth planet now, a large gas giant," he said, still not facing Strom as he strode over to a nearby pillar. "The gravitational pull must be incredible at this range."

"Stop now or I will shoot you dead!"

The intruder stopped and raised his hands. He turned.

Strom stammered and charged his rifle. Not him.

He smiled. "You might want to find something to hold onto."

The deck quaked, rocked by a massive explosion somewhere on the ship. Strom held his ground, listening to his ship. It had to be engineering, where'd they'd cornered him only moments ago. "What have you done?"

He noticed the intruder was clinging to the pillar, by way of a series of belts and braces he had not noticed before. What was his game, Strom wondered? Then came the sirens, and everything became clear. He could hear the sliding steel beneath them, and he dove for an exposed length of pipe in the pillar. With a thunderous clash, the floor opened and dropped every single star-fighter into the vacuum of space. Instantly, they were caught in the gravity well of the nearby planet and dragged down into the eye of a massive super-storm.

Lieutenant Seck scrambled across the control board attempting to stop the doors and regain control, but it was no use. It only took five seconds to lose every ship. The massive gravity of this planet was too great. But they still had the mothership, and it was losing power faster than Seck could get it back. Every system was failing, save for basic life support and the anti-grav, the only thing keeping the entire ship from plummeting down to the maelstrom below.

The massive bomb bay doors slid shut, and the perimeter forces moved in. They found Strom half conscious, still clinging to the exposed pipes, the intruder already having fled the scene.

Strom lifted his head and drew his breath slowly. He collected his wits and said one thing.

"It was the Doctor."

...

The ship was alive with frantic alarm and relentless jackboots. The Doctor ran through the maintenance tunnels with confidence and urgency. The Federation Forces would be here soon to respond to his signal, and without their fleet, the Sontarans would not be able to defend themselves from a full scale attack. At least, not now that he's disabled the power to all defensive weaponry. Still, all things considered, the Doctor would have preferred the fishing holiday he'd planned to take with Hemingway in Cuba, before the TARDIS brought him here. Ah, well. Ernie would understand. The Doctor stopped at the exit to the cargo bay when the announcement came over the intercom.

"The Doctor has been detected on level 5! All troops converge on the signal! Shoot him on sight, we are NOT TAKING PRISONERS! SONTAR, HA!"

Oh dear. Time to dash.

The Doctor ran onto the catwalk and made his way portside as the security forces clamored around on the catwalks above and below him. Running, he stared down the sheer wall alongside him, and at the approaching Federation vessels through the windows. They were too far away to be any help to him, but it didn't matter anymore. He had reached the eleventh pillar. And he slid to the ground as laser fire burned the air above his head. The Doctor tumbled upright and glared straight into the barrel of a carbonic atomizer with a tense Sontaran soldier hanging onto it. Not from fear, Sontarans weren't like that. More like anticipation, he mused, as the rest of the security forces surrounded him.

"The order was shoot on sight, private!" Strom barked.

"Sorry sir, but I did catch him!"

General Strom swaggered behind the Doctor, his own gun levelled and ready to fire. "I see that. So, Doctor, I've been meaning to repay you for my embarrassment on Florinall-9 for some time. Was there anything in particular you wanted written on your tombstone?" he asked as he stepped into view, pressing the gun against the Doctor's forehead.

"If it's not too much trouble, one-eighty."

Everyone and everything instantly fell upward. Strom and the Doctor crashed into the underside of the catwalk above, along with half the security. The rest tumbled off and fell into the ceiling. Strom held his gun tight, and struggled to regain his sense of direction. The bastard had gotten into the artificial gravity system! Firing wildly, he swung toward the Doctor.

"Two-seventy, Y-Axis!"

Everyone and everything instantly fell against the sheer wall of the ship. Strom landed on his head, dropping his gun in shock. He instinctively took a feral leap toward the Doctor.

"Default Axis!"

Everyone and everything instantly fell as gravity set itself aright, with Strom and the Doctor plummeting down to the deck below. Strom accelerated in the midst of his leap and careened for the Doctor as they dropped. He pulled a knife and prepared for their inevitable collision. And then he saw it.

The Doctor snapped his fingers twice. The doors of the TARDIS opened and closed with a frantic slam, separating Strom from his target with a thud. He bounced off the blue box, inexplicably affixed to the wall of the ship, and he rolled down the rest of the way, as the wall curved into the floor of the cargo bay with the rest of his forces.

...

The Doctor's fall turned into a run as gravity oriented to the floor of the TARDIS and he slammed against the console, hitting the Emergency Dematerialization Switch as he did. The TARDIS wheezed as it slipped out of phase and into the Time Stream. The Doctor slid to the floor clutching his belly. He had to do something about the gravity settings to arrest incoming momentum. Landing on the console at that angle still hurts.

"Well," the Doctor said, pulling himself up. "That went rather well, considering. The Federation Forces will tow the vessel in for processing, the colony was saved, and everybody lives. Not a bad way to spend an afternoon, eh?" He looked up, and saw he was talking to himself. Again. The Doctor pouted. Maybe it was time to visit the Ponds again, they might like a holiday with Hemingway.

The TARDIS lurched, throwing the Doctor into the railings with a sudden jerk. Definitely time to look at the gravity settings. The Doctor stood and rounded the console, threw the Wibbly Lever, hit the Blue Boringers, and tried to isolate the problem. The screen flashed a series of figures.

"Ooh, that's not good. There's a massive time-space distortion rippling across the whole of creation, a great big calamity is brewing in, let's see…. The dawn of the Twenty First Century? Not again, I was just there last week! Ish. Hemingway needs to wait. I have to find the source and see what the dealio is!" Suddenly the Doctor looked up. He was still talking to himself. Good, so no one ever heard him use the word "dealio." Perfect.

To Be Continued In Japan


	2. The Flashpoint In Time

Introduction: I wrote this chapter in two days, although the elements took longer to come together in my mind. Among other things, I created my own Doctor Who-style monster for this story. See if you can spot it.

I will try to update this story with new chapters as frequently as possible.

The Flashpoint in Time

"I know things have been hectic for everyone lately, but this is no time to get lazy, people! We've been getting so distracted with movie shoots, field days, and grueling casework that we've started to lose sight of what the SOS Brigade is all about! It's time to reaffirm our convictions! To return to our roots! We cannot forget why we're here!"

Haruhi Suzumiya sat down, satisfied at her efforts to inspire the troops. In the otherwise quiet diner, the SOS Brigade regarded their noisy master. Yuki Nagato was nursing a cup of juice over a new book, Itsuki Koizumi smiled in quiet compliance, Mikuru Asahina stared at her leader blankly, and Kyon was stifling a groan. Grueling casework, he thought? Is she seriously talking about the Computer Club President? The one she gave up looking for, five whole minutes after breaking into his room?

"Haruhi, we're only here because you told us to come out today. You still haven't told us what we're doing," Kyon said.

Haruhi sighed. "You'd know if you showed up on time, Kyon."

"I was half an hour early!" And somehow I still showed up last, he thought.

"Miss Suzumiya," Koizumi interrupted politely, "Isn't it true you wanted us to get back to investigating the town on foot for evidence of strange happenings?"

Haruhi nodded gleefully. "Exactly! The SOS Brigade was founded with a mission to uncover the strange mysteries of our world, and now is the time to make our move! I've been reading online that there have been sightings of strange lights in the sky recently, so the only sensible thing to do is hit the pavement and dig up some new leads. This time, things are gonna be different, I can feel it!"

Mikuru clapped absently. Kyon looked at Nagato, wondering if she knew anything about strange lights. Yuki glanced back at him curtly, and returned to her book. He guessed not.

"So what should we do? Just wade into a pond and go looking for kappas or what?" Kyon asked sarcastically.

"If you think that'll help," Haruhi said condescendingly. "I shouldn't have to tell you how to do your job, Kyon, you've done it plenty of times. Just keep your eyes open and your phone on. Now, we need to divide up into teams. I've got the straws."

...

Kyon and Mikuru strolled through the marketplace together. Luck of the draw, Kyon smiled. Haruhi would be down by the water with the others for hours, so it was best to enjoy these quiet moments as much as possible. Maybe strike up a conversation?

"So, Miss Asahina, do we know anything about these lights in the sky or is Haruhi just bored?"

Mikuru blushed slightly. "I'm sorry, I don't know. It's classified information."

Kyon shrugged. He'd seen a lot of strange things following Haruhi Suzumiya around, trying to curb her unrealized power and help her live a normal life, but all too often he was just willing to take things as they come and overlook the strangeness. If he had been more attentive, he might have noticed the creature following them.

...

"This?" Koizumi asked.

"This," Haruhi answered. "It wasn't here last time I walked through this neighborhood. I would have remembered. It just looks so out of place."

"The writing is English. But what is it, exactly? It doesn't look like an ordinary street phone."

"It is a police telephone box, Mackenzie Trench design," Yuki explained. "They were commonly used in the United Kingdom throughout the early twentieth century, before the advent of portable radios and mobile phones. They acted as a landline to the authorities, as well as a temporary means of securing prisoners. They are currently discontinued."

"England? It's a long way from home, then." Haruhi stood before the big blue box with her brigade members and pulled out the built-in phone. She tried for a dial tone. "Nothing. It must not be hooked up."

Koizumi paused to consider this. "The whole box could be a prop. Perhaps someone is shooting a movie in the area."

Haruhi tested the door, unable to open it. "But where are they, then?" she exclaimed. "If that were true, this place would be swarming with film crews and bouncers and stuff. Someone would be watching it. But there's nothing here, just the box."

Haruhi smiled. "It's a mystery!"

...

Across town Kyon and Mikuru were milling around in a gift shop. Mikuru was being talked into buying a useless knickknack when Kyon spotted a woman in the long coat staring at him from the window. She was unusually tall, disheveled, and wore a plain white sanitary mask over her mouth. She would not move, and Kyon was feeling unnerved as her strange vacant eyes followed him. Something was seriously wrong.

"Miss Asahina," he said, tilting his head slightly, not wanting to lose track of the masked woman. "We need to leave now."

Mikuru looked up, the sudden tension in his voice making her feel uncomfortable. "Kyon? What is it?"

"Don't turn around," he said. Mikuru stiffened up, whining quietly. Kyon whispered to the cashier, "Is there another way out of here?" Kyon didn't know what this was about, but he knew he didn't want anything to do with it.

The old man behind the counter glanced at Kyon and the woman outside. He knew kids in trouble when he saw them. "Bathroom?" he said aloud. "Sure, it's in the back. Left, right, forward." Kyon nodded, then slowly led Mikuru to the back.

The woman had already vanished.

...

Kyon and Mikuru calmly walked past the bathroom, down the hall, and out into the alley behind the storefronts. They tried to walk away quietly when Kyon's phone started ringing. It was Haruhi. Her voice was ringing out louder than usual, she was clearly excited.

"Kyon! Kyon! Are you done wasting time over there? Drop whatever you're doing and get down here to Block 27, we've got a live one! It's a blue box, it's totally foreign, there's no way it belongs here! It has to be alien! Or some secret government capsule! Or maybe a transport pod from the future? Something like that. Are you listening? Stop daydreaming! Something big is going on here!" Haruhi spat out in one frantic breath. Kyon was barely listening, as the woman from the window was now standing between them and the open street.

In the light shade, Kyon could easily see that the woman's hair was some kind of wig. The surface of her skin was rough and odd, like the surface of bark, and her eyes looked inhuman, like they were made of glass. She stepped forward. She made a tightly suppressed cough and pulled her mask off.

The lower half of her face was a greenish brown, with a distinctive plant texture, as if a large number of thin vines were tightly woven together into the rough shape of a human face. The pale skin of her human half now seemed more like sloppy face paint in contrast. Her mouth opened from ear to ear, full of smooth thorns forming teeth, while the inside of her mouth was a muddy swamp. Her eyes fell out of hollow sockets as her face stretched, shattering on the pavement. Her cough now came off as a suppressed cackle as she hacked up green swamp water. Mikuru held in a tearful scream.

"What was that? What are you guys doing?" Haruhi asked on the phone, oblivious to the sheer terror on display.

Kyon gathered his wits fast. "Dog fight in an alley. We'll be right over." Kyon hung up, grabbed Mikuru, and bolted down the alley in the other direction. The plant woman pursued them in a slow, but deliberate stride.

...

Kyon ran through the alleyway, leading Mikuru under his arm and desperately searching for a way out. But the doors he found were either locked or blocked off, and he could not wait to call for help with that monster behind them. He didn't look back but he could hear her cackling after them. She was in no hurry, he was running out of places to go.

"Kyon!" Mikuru shouted, pointing down the alley at an entrance to the street. They desperately ran for their freedom, but stopped short. Mikuru tumbled over herself as two more tall women in sanitary masks walked into the alley, sucking their eyes deep into their bodies and reaching for their masks. Kyon gathered up Mikuru and half-dragged her up and further down the alley. The two teenagers ran for their lives into the blind alley until it ended abruptly with a heavy old door. Kyon banged on the surface and nearly covered himself in paint chips and rust, but it would not budge.

Mikuru cowered in a corner and he finally turned around. Kyon watched as the three monster women blocked the alleyway with their bodies, slowly creeping in closer. Kyon looked around desperately for something he could use to defend himself. A pipe, a broom, a garbage can, anything. But the alley was empty at that end, and he was out of time.

The lead woman, the one he spotted first, started hacking more deliberately. She was trying to speak. She sounded like a drowning child, each word was choked out through the swamp in her throat. "Ssshkhcheeee… Hkhhasss… Mahrkkkttt… Hyoouu," she managed to say, reaching for him with one outstretched hand. One which grew longer as she approached. Kyon backed against the door, now completely out of alley. Is something buzzing behind him?

The heavy old door suddenly burst open from the inside, throwing Kyon out of the way and tumbling straight down into Mikuru's lap. There was a flash of movement, a hissing gas, and a sudden burst of flames that sent the plant women reeling back in primal terror. As Kyon looked up, he saw a smiling face looking down on him as the women tried to recover from their shock.

"Inside, quick!"

Kyon picked up Mikuru, still frozen in fear, and rushed inside as the door slammed behind them. The latch closed with a strange buzzing noise, the ferocious monster women clawing and banging on the door. Kyon looked at their rescuer and took stock of him. He was a young man, a foreigner, could be American or European. He had floppy hair, a large forehead, and he dressed like an old professor, complete with elbow patches, suspenders and… was that a bow tie? He was smiling ecstatically, laughing under his breath. He had a can of hair spray and a laboratory flint striker in one hand, and some strange electronic wand in the other. He threw away the can and pocketed the rest.

"Blimey," he said, confirming his nationality for Kyon. "That was a close one. Hello, I'm the Doctor."

Mikuru suddenly woke up from her terrified stupor and glared at the Doctor, a mix of awe and quiet horror on her face. Kyon had never seen her react quite like that before.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

The Doctor spun around. "We can't stay here, those Florinalls will have that door down in less than three minutes. We need to reach higher ground quickly!" He suddenly ran for the stairs to the next floor.

"What?!" Kyon exclaimed as Mikuru dropped down to her feet.

The Doctor stopped halfway and leaned over stairs. "Higher. Ground. If we just leave, they'll follow us. We need to lose them first. We have to lure them to the roof." He ran up the stairs, shouting over his shoulder, "Don't worry, I've got a plan!" Mikuru rushed up behind him, Kyon behind her.

"Miss Asahina, who is that guy?"

"That's classified!" she yelled back as they ran.

...

The Doctor buzzed open the door to the roof and led the two teenagers outside, locking it behind them. He walked over to a large ventilation unit and fiddled around with an object wrapped in tarp. Kyon watched the door closely.

"How long is that door going to hold?" he asked, expecting the worst.

"It probably won't, it's not as heavy as the one downstairs. If they plan on using the stairs," the Doctor said, making some adjustments.

"What's that, a gun?"

The Doctor sighed. "No, it's not a weapon, it's just a piece of gardening equipment."

"How are we going to destroy them, then?"

"We're not. Florinalls can survive massive amounts of heavy damage and regenerate themselves perfectly. Nothing I have can harm them."

"Can't you just use your laser pointer on them?"

The Doctor turned and held up the device. "It's not a laser pointer, it is a sonic screwdriver! And no, it doesn't do wood!"

"What the hell is a sonic screwdriver? And what does that even mean? 'It doesn't do wood?' How does it not do wood?"

"It just doesn't, okay?"

"Please stop fighting!" Mikuru squealed. Both men went silent.

The Doctor straightened his bow tie and went back to work. "Just mind the door. They won't keep us waiting for long."

Kyon kept a vigilant eye on the door. "What are they, really?"

The Doctor talked as he worked. "Florinalls are plant-based androids designed by the biotechnical engineers of Florinall-5, it's their chief export. They are semi-intelligent, massively strong, and can survive in almost any environment. They're designed mainly for long distance space travel on large vessels. They double as a cheap labor force and living components in the onboard life support systems, producing air for the crew to breathe. One Florinall can provide oxygen for five average humans, and they're only as strong as three. As long as the ratio is carefully maintained, it's an ideal symbiotic relationship. Unless some fool tells them to kill people."

Two Florinalls suddenly climbed over the edge of the roof, as their leader bashed through the door. Kyon and Mikuru backed into the Doctor, looking over three stories of empty air off the ledge behind them. The Florinalls molded their hands into claws and moved in. The Doctor lifted his device and kept talking, his attention devoted entirely to his work.

"Fun fact about Florinall-5, by the way: It's five times larger than the Earth, and so naturally, the gravity is correspondingly stronger. The Florinalls themselves cope by reducing their body mass accordingly. It makes them very light on their feet under the gravity of a standard class-M planet like this, and extremely useful as assassins in some circles. Of course, most things are easier when you can tip toe between skyscrapers under your own power."

"Doctor…" Kyon stressed as they moved in closer.

"Their strength, therefore, comes not from their mass, but rather the tension in their muscle fibers, which have roughly the same tensile strength as bamboo. In case you were wondering."

"I really wasn't!" The Florinalls were right on top of them.

"But their extremely low body mass has given them one weakness…"

The Doctor tore the tarp with one pull of the cord, revealing a leaf blower. Within seconds, the Florinalls were in the air, propelled into the sky by the increased force of the modified leaf blower, and carried away in the air current.

"They can't cope with wind. The engineers never bothered to fix it, as there aren't many hurricanes in space. Or on Florinall-5, for that matter," the Doctor smiled, tossing the leaf blower aside. "They'll be miles away before that breeze dies down and they land. We need to be gone by then. Come along."

...

Kyon and Mikuru walked to Block 27 as the sun finished setting, with the Doctor close behind them. Kyon didn't like him being there. Sure, he saved their lives and that was great, but how would Haruhi react to him? And what was his deal anyway? Seven blocks and he wouldn't stop talking. The Doctor actually reminded him of Haruhi, somewhat. Bossy and in love with his own voice.

"The weird thing, though, is the Florinalls themselves. I mean, that's 51st century technology! Someone had to bring them through time to use them in the streets of 21st century Japan. That limits the suspect list considerably, though."

Kyon decided to jump in. "So, Doctor, why would someone use a bunch of plant robots who can't handle a strong breeze in the first place?"

"Tracking abilities, I'd say. Our conspirators don't know what they're looking for, but the Florinalls can read the signs easily enough. Any subtle change in the environment is a map reference to them."

"And how did they find us?"

"Because of her," the Doctor said, pointing at Mikuru and making her jump. The Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver and gave her a quick scan. The screwdriver buzzed aggressively. "Your little friend here is soaked in void energy and chronometric particles, they could smell it for miles. Plus, she's heard of me, so clearly a time traveler. They were probably hoping she'd lead them to their prize."

Uh-oh. "Prize?"

"You didn't really think they were looking for YOU, did you?" the Doctor asked slyly. Kyon really wished he'd ditched him.

"KYON! Get your butt over here now!" Haruhi Suzumiya shouted and waved her hands in the air. She was standing by a large blue box with Yuki and Koizumi.

The Doctor smiled more broadly. "Well, that saved us a lot of time."

Haruhi ran over and grabbed Kyon by the arm, dragging him over to the blue box illuminated by the street lights. "Look at this thing! It's a London police box, what's it doing in the middle of suburban Japan?"

"Sitting there," Kyon rolled his eyes. He really didn't care.

"Oh good, you found my TARDIS." Haruhi jerked her head to look at this man. Koizumi was surprised to see the Doctor walking with Kyon and Mikuru. Yuki Nagato dropped her book.

Haruhi took a second. "Tar… I'm sorry, this is yours?" she asked, trying to be polite to this new stranger.

The Doctor sauntered up and leaned on the box, beaming with pride. "TARDIS. It stands for 'Time and Relative Dimensions in Space.' It's an alien time machine from the distant future and I'm a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey."

The world seemed to freeze for a moment as his words hit the air. Haruhi stared blankly at the Doctor. The members of the SOS Brigade were stunned by this man and each one wracked their minds for the right thing to say to diffuse the situation before something else happened. And something did.

"By the way," said the Doctor, pulling something from his pocket. "Have you tried this?" He sprayed something in Haruhi's face. She blinked slightly, took a deep breath, and fell backwards. Kyon rushed over and caught her before she hit the ground.

Mikuru and Koizumi rushed to their side, Yuki stood between them and the Doctor. Kyon sputtered, trying to make sense of what just happened. "What? What did you do that for?"

"They were after her, and I think you know it," the Doctor stated as a matter of fact.

"So that means you have to spray her with chloroform?!" Kyon shouted at him.

"Actually, no, it's only Centauran Hyper Mint," the Doctor explained, holding up the small spray stick. There was a cartoon of an alien with one massive eye on it. He sprayed it into his own mouth and smacked his lips.

Kyon blinked, then glared at the unconscious girl in his lap. "Why did she fall over, then?" he asked, slightly less aggressively.

"It happens to everyone the first time, that's just how strong it is. It's actually a major selling point." Kyon started to speak, but the Doctor raised his hand. "She's not even going to remember what I told her, and if she does, she'll chalk it up to a weird dream. Either way, she can't know what's coming next."

The Doctor strode up to Yuki Nagato. The two aliens stared each other down. "I can spot a minion of the Data Integrated Thought Entity anywhere," he said softly. Yuki simply stared back.

He continued, "I need you to transmit this message to your immediate superior: This is the Doctor of Gallifrey addressing the Data Overmind! The anomaly is threatened by agents of an unknown enemy, she is no longer safe on Earth. As a neutral agent in this matter, acting in accordance with Article 92 Alpha Norman Tennis Ball of the Shadow Proclamation, I hereby take the anomaly into protective custody with intent to remove her from the threat and identify the source of said threat. I take full responsibility for her safety and the security of her secret. Do you comply?"

Koizumi gasped and Mikuru started shivering. This couldn't be happening.

Yuki blinked. "Message delivered. Please wait." She paused. "Permission granted, this unit will accompany you to ensure the safety of Haruhi Suzumiya."

"Brilliant! Be a dear and help me with her feet, won't you?"

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Kyon shouted. Yuki and the Doctor stopped. "You can't just knock someone out and drag them away from their lives out of nowhere, I don't care who you are!"

The Doctor looked genuinely surprised. "What was your name again?"

"Kyon!" Mikuru chirped. Kyon suppressed a groan.

The Doctor smiled and leaned over carefully. "Kyon. Three years ago, there was a massive distortion in the timestream, a flashpoint in time, you might say, and this girl was at the center of it. I imagine your companions," he said, looking around at the other members of the Brigade, "have told you as much already. As much as I'd like to, I can't simply invite her to come along without exposing her to information which can prove dangerous to her emotional state, and by extension, everything around her. I had to put her to sleep, and for the safety of every living creature in the universe, we have to keep her asleep until we've solved this problem. Those creatures were after her, you know it, and now that they have our scent, they're going come back, and in greater numbers. We can't fight them, we can only outrun them. And now we're all losing time as I stand here explaining this to you!"

Kyon started to speak, but he felt a small hand on his shoulder. He looked over at Nagato, crouching down next to him. She was cradling Haruhi's head. She nodded slightly. Okay, SHE trusted the Doctor. To Kyon, that was good enough. He turned back to the Doctor.

"We're ALL going with her. And we're not leaving her alone until she's returned home." Kyon looked over at the others. Koizumi stood up straight. Mikuru stopped shaking and held her breath. The SOS Brigade turned to the Doctor as one.

The Doctor chuckled, or it might have been sobbing, and smiled broader than ever. "Humanity. Welcome aboard." The Doctor snapped his fingers, and the TARDIS doors flew open.

To Be Continued in Time and Space...


	3. Long Dark Tea Time

Introduction: Trying to keep up with this story, but it is starting to take a clearer shape with each chapter. As ever, I'd appreciate any comments and criticisms anyone might have as I go. This story is largely a writing experiment for myself, I'd like to get some feedback.

I write these things to a soundtrack mix of the Symphony of Haruhi Suzumiya and the Series 6 soundtrack of Doctor Who. Just to set the mood.

Long Dark Tea Time

Taniguchi wandered through Block 27 on his way home from the corner store. The one with the cute new girl working the counter, an AA+ in his book. He had to get up the nerve to ask her out soon, though. He was running out of useless junk he needed to buy to justify being there during her working hours. He didn't even like the green tea all that much. On the way, he saw something a little strange.

Taniguchi could see Kyon and his freaky SOS Brigade hanging around with some foreigner through the fence and hedges on his way down the hill. He was more surprised to see Haruhi Suzumiya, fast asleep and bundled up in his arms. Honestly, how did that guy get it on so fast with Haruhi? And how did he stay there? Taniguchi lost sight of Kyon as the wind suddenly kicked up, an unexpected gust threatening to knock him down.

He heard a wheezing engine in the distance as he rounded the corner. He hadn't noticed the great blue box before, so much as he noticed its absence. And that of Kyon and the Brigade.

As the last wheeze of that great far-off engine died away, Taniguchi kept on walking.

Nope, he thought. Didn't see anything.

…

Across the silver forests, beneath the orange sky, the Citadel stood encased in a mighty glass dome.

The Council session was over and the elders were departing. They strode the halls, whispering giants in the eyes of a child, debating things of great importance and contemplating the movement of the universe. They scarcely noticed her in their midst. A small girl in a red robe, her hair tied in a yellow ribbon. She called out to them, but many of the elders merely ignored her. One or two patted her head kindly in passing.

As they left her alone, the little girl drifted off, hunkering down beside a great pillar. She started to cry. She just wanted to see her father. She only wanted to play.

A great shadow fell over her as she heard a familiar voice. "There, there. No more tears, my dear."

She looked up at the craggy grin of a wily old man, leaning down to wipe her tears away. She smiled sweetly. He wasn't father, but she could always count on him.

…

Kyon watched as Mikuru tucked Haruhi into the lower bunk of a spare bedroom aboard the TARDIS. Kyon reflected on the care with which she went about her task, adding more pillows and brushing the hair from her eyes. She'd make a good mother someday. Mikuru walked out into the hallway to see him.

"Alright, Miss Asahina, just stay with her and make sure she stays asleep," Kyon explained. "One of us needs to be with her at all times, in case anything goes wrong. The Doctor modified all our phones so they'll work no matter where we are, so be sure to call us if something happens. Is there anything you're confused about?"

"Oh, no, we'll be alright, Kyon."

Kyon smiled, then looked either way down the long hallways. Bigger on the inside, the Doctor had said. No kidding. He got disoriented just walking through the door.

"Miss Asahina, what's really going on here? Who is the Doctor?"

"There really isn't much to say. Most of what I've heard is classified, and it isn't even that much."

"Anything would be good. I've seen a lot of weird things since I met all of you, but this is different. I need to know what we're in for."

Mikuru thought for a moment. "Well, he's a time traveler, like me, but very old and very powerful. His name turns up in legends and stories across the universe. Many of the accounts are considered inaccurate and contradictory, though. Everyone sees him differently. Some races consider him a great trickster or a terrible monster, but every story is basically the same. One day, he just drops out of the sky in his blue box, and everything changes. For better or worse."

"But who is he? I mean, he goes around calling himself 'the Doctor.' What is that about? Doctor who?"

Mikuru shrugged. "No one knows. It's the only name he ever uses. Some races have their own names for him. The people of the Gamma Forests call him the Great Warrior, and the Daleks call him the Oncoming Storm."

Oncoming Storm, Kyon wondered? What was the story there? "Who are the Daleks?"

Mikuru froze, realizing what she had said. "That's classified. Please excuse me," she said, ducking back into Haruhi's room. Kyon sighed, and started walking back to the control room.

…

After what felt like days of wandering, Kyon arrived in the main control room, a great golden space which seemed to shine, steam, and dance before Kyon's eyes. From the upper level, he could see The Doctor and Koizumi talking down by the display screen. Yuki was sitting by the main console, reading her book. It looks like she's already adapted to life in TARDIS.

"So what happens if you don't defeat the Shinjin?" Kyon heard the Doctor ask.

"We believe if they ran loose, they would destroy everything in their path. The Closed Space would envelop the Earth and overwrite reality," Koizumi said gravely.

"Well, we'll need to keep you close, then. I rather like reality as it is." The Doctor looked up and smiled as he spotted Kyon. He waved his hands and gestured him down. "Ah, hello! Come along, we've got work to do!"

The Doctor walked up to the console as Kyon stepped down. "How are the girls settling in?"

"Haruhi's still sleeping off the effects of that alien mint gas you sprayed her with, she can't get more settled," Kyon scowled.

"Wonderful!" The Doctor said, flipping a switch on the console and running around to the other side. He completely ignored the look Kyon was trying to give him. Unbelievable, Kyon thought, he really was just like Suzumiya.

"So what are we doing now? Someone is trying to get Haruhi, do we have a plan for that?"

"I'm working on it," the Doctor said, rounding the console and guiding the TARDIS in flight. "We know our enemy has time travel, so we need a strategy for that. We need to find out if they can track us, and how well. If they can follow the TARDIS through the timestream, for instance, they could be waiting for us wherever we land. It's important to pick a time and place where we can dictate the rules of engagement. Either way, if they continue to use Florinalls to find us, then I need a piece of them."

"I wouldn't mind a piece of those jerks myself," Kyon said.

The Doctor looked up from the console. "No, I mean literally, I need to acquire a piece of Florinall bio-matter. A finger would be enough, but no more than an arm."

Kyon cringed at the thought of being close enough to get that. "Why?"

"Why? Think about it. They're an engineered product, the Florinalls, every one of them is designed to be sold and traded. They're more like appliances than house plants, and what does every appliance have?"

Koizumi spoke up "They have serial numbers."

"Yes! They have a number. The Florinalls are distributed by the Orion Federation as industrial supplies, they can track them. If we can find a vendor, we might be able to identify the buyer. Those numbers are printed on their bio-matter, so we need a piece large enough to be able to extrapolate a complete serial number. A finger should be big enough for that. That's what I need."

The Doctor hit a large number of buttons, punched up a series of coordinates, and pulled a massive lever.

"And I just figured out where we need to go," The Doctor exclaimed. The engine wheezed, groaned, and settled with a thump.

The Doctor jumped down the stairs and went for the door. "Kyon, Yuki, you're with me." Yuki closed her book and set it aside.

…

The TARDIS door opened slowly. The Doctor stuck his arm out, sonic screwdriver in hand and scanning the area. Negative. He stepped out calmly and led his new companions out. Kyon and Yuki stepped into the drawing room of a very ornate western-style home. It was warm, well lit, and finely decorated with exotic paintings, sculptures, and classical furniture. The whole house seemed to have a style very…

"Victorian England," the Doctor said, interrupting Kyon's thought process. "One of my very favorites! Looks like she's out, though."

Victorian England? "Wait a minute, that's over a hundred years ago!" Kyon exclaimed.

"Yes, well, relative to you," said the Doctor.

"But… I thought it was impossible to travel back in time more than three years?"

The Doctor tried in vain to suppress his laughter. "WHAT? Who told you THAT nonsense?"

Kyon felt more than a little embarrassed. "Miss Asahina, she said it wasn't possible to go back any further than the... uh, flashpoint."

"Oh, I see," the Doctor said, straightening himself up a little. "Well, maybe for her, it is. But then again, the average human from her time period can't handle any engineering principle more complicated than the axel!"

"Huh?"

"They internalize their technology, everything is run through neural interface and psychic software. The downside is that nothing is analogue anymore. Most of her people have never seen a doorknob, and unless they held a degree in engineering, they wouldn't know what to do if they did. They're not actually stupid, it's just not part of their daily lives."

Kyon thought for a moment. Given all the times Miss Asahina forgot to lock the door while changing, this actually made a lot of sense.

The Doctor walked around the drawing room and took a seat. He plucked a Turkish Delight out of a bowl. "But their ability to traverse time is limited by their perception of it. You see, they believe in a linear progression of time, that things actually happen one after another. Reaching the Flashpoint or beyond is, to them, like trying to cross a raging river or the Great Wall of China in a car. But time doesn't work like that, really. It's sort of fluid, almost organic. In general, more wibbly. The TARDIS can't land on the time/space coordinates of the Flashpoint, but it can sidestep the moment and travel through time around it."

His mind spinning, Kyon gave up trying to understand. "Okay, so why Victorian England?"

"It's the perfect location to set up a counter attack. We can recruit some local help to secure the TARDIS and pursue our enemy in kind. Kyon, Miss Nagato, I welcome you to the humble abode of…"

CRASH! SCREEEE!

The Doctor jumped up. "That's not a Florinall, more of an aquatic humanoid. It came from the kitchen. Let's go."

The three ran past the stairs into the kitchen. Inside, a Victorian chambermaid in full regalia was fighting what looked like a cross between a one hundred year old man and a deep sea anglerfish. She wielded a Japanese katana and was slicing him up with a graceful flourish, but he refused to fall.

Kyon's view of the battle was blocked by another monster. This one was very beautiful, a lizard woman in tight Victorian dress. She raised her sword, and Kyon recoiled.

"Doctor. I thought I heard you pulling up," she said with a wry smile. "Forgive me for not offering you a seat, but I'm a bit preoccupied." A table was overturned behind her, a large amount of dishes smashed against the opposing wall. She flinched, internally calculating the expense of her loss.

The Doctor waved his hands. "No worries, Madame Vastra. I see you have an unexpected guest." Kyon balked. He was coming to see her?

Vastra turned to the fight. "No, not unexpected, but certainly unwanted. This Haemovore had been trying to establish a nest in London, we cracked down on it last night. It seems he was quite upset."

The chambermaid screamed and ran the Haemovore through with her sword from behind. He was still moving, trying to grab her. Kyon turned and saw another creature climbing over the counter, a well-dressed potato man armed with a large pot. "What about him? Is he with you or the other guy?" Kyon asked.

"SONTAR-HAAAA!" the potato man screamed, leapt through the air, and smashed the pot over the Haemovore's head with a sickening crack. He and the chambermaid proceeded to beat, kick, and stab him on the ground. "Prepare for obliteration, alien scum!"

"Strax is with us, young man," Vastra smiled. "He's our butler."

"How is he working out, incidentally?" The Doctor asked.

The Haemovore knocked Strax into the pantry and leapt to his feet, still trying desperately to grab the chambermaid.

"Perhaps we should help Jenny, Doctor?" Vastra asked, lifting her sword.

"Oh, of course. Haemovores are extremely resilient on a physical level, but they are vulnerable to certain psychic frequencies and emotional wavelengths. A concentrated wave of faith, for instance, can short out their nervous system. One moment, please." The Doctor straightened up, closed his eyes, and concentrated.

What, Kyon thought, now he was an esper too?

Suddenly, the Haemovore threw his head back and let out a piercing screech, clutching his head and trying to tear something out. Jenny dropped her sword in as the noise cut through the air. In a flash, Yuki Nagato flew across the room, snatched the sword in midair, and took a blinding swing. A moment passed, and the Haemovore's severed head fell to the floor. The room fell silent as Yuki stood up and presented Jenny with her sword.

Strax emerged from the panty, dusting the masonry off his suit. He faced Yuki. "Good work, lad!"

…

The Sontaran battleship Hyperion glided through space, towed by tractor beam via a convoy of Orion Federation ships. A once mighty war machine left defenseless in the wake of aggressive sabotage. And there was only one place to take them.

Lieutenant Seck emerged from the engine room as General Strom arrived, his personal guard on all sides. Most of the crew had assembled to receive word. There was no avoiding it. "Sorry, sir. The damage left by the explosion was too great, there are still too many vital pieces lost. There's nothing we can do to restore our offensive weaponry. He even went so far as to jettison all the escape pods and dump the fuel on every scout ship. We cannot fight, and we cannot escape."

General Strom boiled with rage. "Cannot fight? Impossible! There is no greater shame than being taken alive. Understand, if we cannot fight them with our ship, we will fight them with every last man at our disposal. We are still armed, we are warriors! Whatever happens, they must not take us alive!"

"Sir?"

"Yes, soldier?"

"Do you hear that hissing sound?"

Strom listened. Damnation. "Lieutenant Seck, does the enemy have access to our environmental systems?"

Everyone fell to the ground, unconscious.

…

Life in the SOS Brigade had always been strange. It was quiet enough most of the time, but Kyon had plenty of moments of sheer lunacy to look back on, ever since Haruhi Suzumiya dropped into his life like a bomb. However, none of them quite compared to the experience of tea time in the home of Madame Vastra, the Silurian detective of Paternoster Row. Kyon sat with Yuki in the love seat, waiting in awkward silence. On their right, the sweetly mannered chambermaid Jenny Flint prepared the tea, a fine brew of Earl Grey. Only moments ago, he'd seen her fighting that monster alone. Before them, Madame Vastra sipped blood from a wine glass, with a look that savored Kyon's awareness. He could hear Strax hacking the body of the Haemovore to pieces for disposal in the other room. To their left, the Doctor was cheerfully selecting his tea cookies, himself the personification of everything the SOS Brigade was created to find. If Haruhi were here, she'd be in heaven.

"This is interesting company you're keeping, Doctor," Vastra said, placing her glass down. "Whatever happened to Amy and Rory?"

"At home, doing their thing. Best not to disturb them. My concern now is the student, Miss Suzumiya. There are some very unsavory characters after her, and they're not even our biggest problem. We're treading on thin ice with this one. She can't even know they're coming or who knows what kind of timey wimey nonsense she'll unleash?"

"And you fink they're comin' 'ere?" Jenny asked, pouring the Doctor's tea. He accepted the cup gratefully.

"Fifty first century plant robots travelled to twenty first century Japan to locate her already, this place is an easy jump. Our best advantage is that they haven't actually encountered her yet, so they don't have her scent."

"They've got mine, though," Kyon said as Jenny handed him his tea. She was pretty cute, but it was a little strange getting his tea from a different maid. "I think I can see where this is going."

"A trap, then," Vastra smiled. "Once we've caught them, we can make them talk."

"They're not big talkers, ma'am," Kyon said.

The Doctor waved the idea away. "I just need a piece of them. A finger, a hand, no bigger. I can trace it back to the source." Vastra and Jenny traded a knowing glance.

"I will accompany him," Yuki said, and sipped her tea.

Vastra feigned surprise. "It speaks! And here we thought you a mute."

"Are you sure, Yuki? Madame Vastra and Jenny are both quite capable," the Doctor said.

"The probability of survival and a successful extraction will be greater."

"Actually, Doctor, I'd feel a lot better if Miss Nagato was there too," Kyon said. I trust her more than any of you, he thought. "So, where do we start?"

The Doctor laid his teacup down. He reached into his jacket and pulled his sonic screwdriver out. It blinked quietly. "As soon as they arrive."

To Be Continued in Old London Town...


	4. The Mouse Trap

Back on the ball and rolling on, here's the new chapter. Hopefully I can get a few more done before the new year [yes, it could go on that long, folks]. I'd like to thank those of you who wrote to me, expressing an interest in this story, and I assure you it will continue to completion, come hell or high water.

Now, to address the question of user The chosen one, I'm afraid your request is a little too vague. I'm not sure which elements of this story you're unclear about, and I'm also not sure if I could afford to spend the time it would take to list them all without spoiling things a little bit. However, your question has made me recognize that some of my readers may only be acquainted with one of these series. While I think that the best way to understand everything I'm referencing is to dive right in head first, it may not be unreasonable for me to provide a little background, as it pertains to the story at least. So, here we go:

The Synopses

Doctor Who:

The Last of the Timelords, the Oncoming Storm, the Lonely God. The Doctor is an alien from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous, who long ago stole a wondrous sentient ship called the TARDIS (Time And Relative Dimensions In Space) from his own people and ran away. Bigger on the inside and stuck in the shape of a 1950's London Police Box, the TARDIS can travel anywhere in time and space. Completely brilliant and mad as a hatter, the unnamed Doctor and his companions wander through the fourth dimension, looking for fun and always finding trouble. He has lived many lives and encountered many strange, frightening beings, running from the universe for twelve hundred years, and he's not stopping for anything.

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya:

Kyon was an ordinary high school student, resigned to live an ordinary life, until the eccentric Haruhi Suzumiya turned his life upside down. She is a mad, energetic young girl who has spent her life looking for excitement and the impossible, never realizing that she truly is the impossible. A mysterious event from three years ago has given her the ability to control reality, her slightest whims coming true without her ever knowing, often with disastrous consequences. They are joined by the SOS Brigade, Suzumiya's bizarre after school club secretly staffed by a mysterious alien reality hacker [Yuki Nagato], a ditzy time traveling 'watchdog' [Mikuru Asahina] and an eerily optimistic psychic, or ESPer [Itsuki Koizumi], each with a vested interest in making sure this anomaly stays safe. With their help, Kyon struggles daily to keep Haruhi Suzumiya's incredible powers a secret and help her live a normal life. And she won't make it easy for him. A slice-of-life dramedy with an epic sci-fi twist.

Chronology:

It also might help the readers to know that this story is meant to fit in a particular time during each series. For the Doctor, this adventure takes place between seasons 6 and 7 of the modern series, during Pond Life. The Florinall's sister planet, Florinall 9, is referred to by the Doctor during that web exclusive short. For Kyon and the SOS Brigade, this adventure takes place shortly before the movie, the Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya.

This is an experimental fan fiction written for practice, so feedback is encouraged. By the War Council of Gallifrey and the Janitor's Union of Bablyon. For real.

The Mousetrap

Kyon stirred from a deep sleep, idly wondering why his little sister wasn't already jumping on the bed. It had been awhile, hadn't it? Not that he wanted her to, especially at this hour, but it felt wrong. What was this hour, anyway? As Kyon blinked the sleep out of his eyes, trying to find his clock, he began to realize that he was not in his room. The bedroom was somewhat yellow, decoratively wooded and sparsely furnished. The drapes were heavy, enough to keep the room dark and foggy through his bleary eyes. Kyon's mind began to buzz with confusion. Where was he?

There was a sudden thud out in the hall. The door burst open and an angry potato man loomed in the doorway, which was no simple feat for such a short fellow. His gaze locked on Kyon like a hawk to a mouse. "At attention, soldier! It is five, breakfast is at o'six hundred! You have one half hour for drills and another for washing up! Be ready for orders, or you shall be lashed without mercy before the entire brigade!"

The sudden, violent threat was enough to drive Kyon's exhausted body right off the bed and straight against the opposing wall in a flight of panic. This was, of course, the instinctive reaction of every schoolboy before the fury of any particularly vicious gym teacher in all the history of physical education.

There was a pause, a moment of sanity-restoring silence. Confused by this reaction, the intruder broke his gaze briefly to consider his next move. "Also, good morning, young sir," Strax added, carefully enunciating each word with a mild courtesy. Kyon watched in helpless terror as the Sontaran butler turned at attention and marched off down the hall.

Kyon stared at nothing for a moment, thought of nothing for a moment, his nerves completely shot.

"Oh, right," he said meekly, finally able to think. "Victorian England."

…

Kyon walked downstairs in his frock coat and suspenders, a simple disguise he'd adopted during his visit. It had been a week since the Doctor brought them to Paternoster Row, a week waiting for the Florinalls to catch up to them. By now, he was hardly thinking about them. He was actually starting to enjoy the break from his normal life.

Kyon walked into the kitchen, Jenny was already serving breakfast to Madame Vastra and Mikuru, who stared at the chambermaid a little too intently. Marveling at her 'maidly charms,' Kyon supposed. He sat down and joined their meal. It was a Scottish breakfast. Bacon, eggs, sausage, mushrooms, beans, tomato, black pudding, and Earl Grey. A little different to Kyon, but very tasty.

The Doctor sat at the counter, staring intently at a sprawling ramshackle detection system he'd scrapped together on the third day. It was a true Rube Goldberg machine, magnificently incomprehensible. Kyon couldn't guess what all the light bulbs, gaseous engines, and single caged chicken were supposed to do, but as long as it didn't explode, he really didn't care. According to Jenny, it helped brew the tea and flip the eggs, aside from its normal functions.

Vastra was eyeing the Doctor flatly as she sipped her tea. She'd been bickering with him over the last two days. Kyon couldn't blame her. The Doctor refused to allow any visitors since his arrival, effectively locking down the entire house, and she was losing clients the longer he stayed on. Her face screamed bloody murder at the back of his head, and The Doctor didn't even notice. Or he pretended not to, it was hard to tell the difference with him. Jenny put her hand on Vastra's shoulder, calming her visibly. She then noticed Kyon's gaze, and threw him a casual smile. It was not polite to put off a young guest.

Kyon nodded, then turned to the Doctor. He knew this couldn't last much longer before someone got hurt. "So, what's the plan today?"

The Doctor spoke, his gaze fixed on the machine. "Fetch Nagato, go fishing. Strax will have a full list of errands for you to run after breakfast. Dally as much as you like, let the scent spread." The Doctor steepled his fingers, desperately straining against his own inaction. "They were ready to kill for her, they wouldn't just walk away. We need to be ready, when they come back for her," he said, more to himself than anyone else in the room.

When they come back for me, Kyon thought, finishing his sausage. He grabbed another full plate and looked across the table. "Miss Asahina, isn't it time for Koizumi's shift change?"

Mikuru woke from her daydreams and finished her breakfast as fast as she could. She stood, resplendent in her high collar and red bodice, as Kyon took her by the hand and walked to the drawing room. In passing, he paused before the Doctor. Kyon was certain he had not moved from that spot in almost five days, but there was something bothering him, something he couldn't ignore any longer.

"Doctor, where did you get that fez?"

The Doctor shrugged, barely moving. "Found it."

"Why are you wearing it?"

The Doctor shifted his gaze slightly, and smiled. "Because it's cool."

Kyon rolled his eyes and walked away. Whatever.

…

Kyon and Mikuru stepped through the door into the TARDIS. He'd been watching the doorframe as he passed, trying to wrap his head around the impossible transition from wooden box to copper steampunk. It still made him dizzy. Nagato was sitting by the console, reading the same book, right where he'd left her the night before. She was wearing a simple white and beige dress, something a servant might be seen in. They'd tried fancier dress, but it drew too much of the wrong attention walking the streets of Whitechapel at dusk. During the day, Yuki went with Kyon into town, performing various odd jobs for Madame Vastra, trying to lure the Florinalls out in the open, then returning to watch the TARDIS while everyone slept. This had become the routine. Nagato looked at Kyon as he and Mikuru walked up to the console, putting her book down. She shuffled up to Kyon and swept the plate of food right off his fingers. She was nibbling on a sausage within seconds.

Kyon flinched, but let it pass. "Just bring it back to the kitchen table this time, don't leave it in the drawing room. Strax will have today's assignments ready by the time we get back."

Nagato made a slightly satisfied sigh, still scarfing the sausage, and shuffled out of the TARDIS as Kyon and Mikuru walked up the steps and deeper inside.

It only took a few minutes to find Haruhi's room this time, which was lucky given that the way in changed every time Kyon came down. Haruhi was still unconscious in bed, though now she was hooked up to an IV drip, a measure intended to keep her body replenished during her stasis. Her clothes had been changed into a silk nightgown, her regular clothing and headband folded on the nightstand beside her. Itsuki Koizumi was sitting in a chair by Haruhi's bed, probably asleep. He was dressed in a suit, a butler's regalia similar to Strax. How the hell he had one in Koizumi's size just lying around was beyond Kyon, and it really started to get on his nerves.

Kyon stood next to Koizumi, watching Haruhi with concern. "This is getting a little ridiculous. How long is this alien mint spray supposed to last?"

"Nagato says the TARDIS is manipulating time around Miss Suzumiya," Koizumi said quietly, pulling himself together. "Apparently, it's bending time in such a way that keeps her in stasis longer. A two-day long effect is being stretched out more than a week. Miss Nagato seems to think we have three days of stasis left before she comes to, then we'll need to think of something else to keep her down." Koizumi stood up, looking at Kyon's empty hands intently, then glancing up at him.

Kyon sighed. "She got to it first, nothing I could do." Koizumi smiled and grunted. Mikuru curtsied and took her place beside Haruhi.

"As long as they saved me some."

…

"NO. I'm sorry, but no, sir," Thompson affirmed. He didn't deserve this kind of shabby treatment from some kid!

Kyon shivered as the horse in the stable sniffed his face. There were times when, during this trip, Kyon couldn't quite believe what was going on around him. That he was actually waking up in the past each day, on the other side of the planet, running errands for a London detective, and never minding the fact that she was a giant lizard. But being in a horse stable is a sobering experience for anyone, especially a city boy like him. He had never spent much time near horses, but the smell of grassy manure hung in the air like a lead weight, grabbing him by the nose and telling him with absolute conviction that this was really happening. And now that horse had licked him, twisting his hair up.

"Madame Vastra needs this, Mr. Hanswallow." Kyon pleaded, ruffling his hair into something less crazy looking. He was not used to this kind of bargaining. "Just one horse to pull the carriage. Detective work is fast paced, she needs a way to get around and transport supplies, and she can't just stand around waiting for a cab! If it's a question of money..!"

"Madame Vastra's money is not the issue! The issue is that bloody awful Turkish butler of hers, and the fact that he's slaughtered and eaten five of my best horses in the last year! He comes back here blaming me for selling him an insolent horse, tells me it don't know how to get about London! LIKE A BLOODY HORSE IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO FIND HYDE PARK ON 'IS OWN! Stupid bastard just doesn't understand how horses work, and I can't keep sending my horses out to get pulverized by whatever he carries around with him! I got a wife and kids to think about, not to mention a reputable business to uphold."

"We anticipated you would be upset," Yuki said simply. "Madame Vastra has authorized us to triple the usual price, up front, for the rental of this horse."

Thompson scoffed, "S'not worth it. Not when the horse don't come back."

Kyon sighed. "I promise you we've talked to Strax about this very thing. Madame Vastra has made sure to fully educate him on the London street system, and he's been severely disciplined for his treatment of the other horses. As long as he's driving the carriage within London, he'll be fine."

Thompson fidgeted. He thought about Madame Vastra berating Strax and actually enjoyed the idea. She could be rather intimidating. The horse began sniffing at Nagato. She touched his nose.

…

In the park at the foot of the Royal Observatory, there was crackling of energy, a great static discharge on the hill overlooking Greenwich. A flickering blink of light preceded the arrival of three strange women in simple dress, their mouths wrapped tightly in scarves. To the casual onlooker they were filthy and ragged, like a pack of whores from Whitechapel. A closer look would show their faces were not painted, but rather painted on. Their skin was rough and craggy, and their eyes were glassy and sightless. The air crackled static again, and three more women joined them. Then another three. And another. They raised their arms in unison and cast their net, the misty hill continually arcing electric.

…

Night began to fall on London as a hard day's work came to an end. Kyon walked through the streets of London, trailing a shaggy brown horse behind him, laden with food and supplies by the small cart tied to his saddle, upon which Nagato sat, stroking his mane. She was becoming fixated on this animal.

"He is very sad," she said passively.

Kyon looked at the horse. "Really?" The horse whinnied.

"He says he is afraid because no one ever comes back from serving the Vastra woman."

"And how do you know that?"

"I speak horse."

Kyon stopped in his tracks and looked straight up at Yuki. "Horses don't speak."

She looked back at him, still stroking the horse's neck. "Not to humans. You do not have the capacity for communication without words."

Kyon sighed. "Yeah, I guess that's a personal problem." Then he stopped.

A single glowing fleck fell on Kyon's nose, tickling his sinuses. He sneezed the particulate away and looked around. The sky was filled with small glowing specks.

"Nagato?"

"Yes."

"What is all this?"

"It is pollen."

Kyon paused. "Do you remember what Haruhi was telling us before we left?"

"She informed us that the blue box was strange."

"Before that. At the restaurant. She wanted to investigate aliens because there were reports of strange lights in the sky."

"Affirmative. The lights were a form of pollen released by the Florinalls. The cloud increases the range of their psychic detection field, allowing them to locate their target with greater efficiency."

"Then they already know where we are."

A choked cackle filled the air, a single call carried by innumerable voices. They were closing in. "Yes."

Kyon leapt up onto the horse, taking position behind Nagato, and snapped the reins. He had never ridden a horse before in his life, but he was ready to try. They shot off down the road, the cart behind them violently rattling and throwing things off onto the cobblestone path. They left a trail of rubbish behind them as nimble shadows flitted across the rooftops.

…

The Doctor's detection system was whistling loudly, filling the room with steam and noise. Strax burst into the kitchen in full body armor, waving his plasma cannon in the air. He was smiling and his voice was filled with demented glee. "The alarm is sounded! They are here! Finally, it is time to destroy things!" Koizumi rushed in behind him, brandishing an axe.

Jenny stared down a pile of cracked dishes on the floor and Madame Vastra was reaching for her swords. "They are headed for the Thames! We've just received confirmation," Vastra shouted. She smiled. "The game is afoot!"

The Doctor was already in the TARDIS, logging coordinates and rounding the console. The engine was groaning and screeching, ready to jump. Vastra led the troops inside as Mikuru stumbled upon the balcony on the upper level. She was manic with worry and confusion.

"What's going on? Where are Kyon and Miss Nagato? Where are we going?!" Mikuru whined, trying to make sense of the sudden rush of noise and activity. Her panic was rising as she eyed her friends and their heavy weaponry.

"Don't worry about it, Miss Asahina!" the Doctor shouted as he pirouetted into view. "Everything is absolutely fine, we're certainly not going into battle against an innumerable force of murderous plant robots or anything like that!" The Doctor laughed as he hit the Dematerialization Switch and rolled with the TARDIS as it slipped out of phase. Mikuru cried as she was thrown to the ground by the sudden shift.

…

Kyon rode his horse across the bridge over the Thames, an army of Florinalls leaping down from the rooftops behind him, Yuki sitting in front of him. Suddenly, she grabbed his jacket and used the leverage to swing herself around behind him, in time to catch a flurry of thorny spikes in her back. Kyon felt her jerk from the impact against his body, her breath hitching with each strike. The sound of flesh and bone tearing nearly made his heart stop, but the spikes would not pass through.

"Nagato…!" Kyon shouted, his guts twisting up as his friend was impaled.

"Keep going," Yuki whispered. Kyon looked over his shoulder. One of the spikes had gone through her neck, the point sticking a few inches out of her throat. He could see the blood in her mouth. Yuki croaked, "I am fine." Kyon bit his lip and pulled the reins, turning hard into an industrial quarter. Just lead them on. That was the plan.

The horse passed through an open gate into a factory, abandoned by the owners. The door hung open as they rushed in, the floor covered in massive machines, with wheels, gears and long dusty rows of fabric everywhere. The Florinalls rushed through, their numbers bunched as the narrow walkways forced them closer together in their pursuit.

Kyon loosened the straps on the cart and let it fall off and crash into a row of machines, the Florinalls leaping over it without stopping. Seconds later, the cart exploded, incinerating all of the Florinalls still near it. As all of the fabric quickly caught fire and engulfed the entire building, Kyon rode faster down the row, no longer encumbered by the extra weight, and bolted for the brick wall on the far side of the room while the surviving Florinalls dashed after them. Once upon the wall, Yuki held up a hand and muttered something, a high speed string of programming code. The horse, riders and all, passed through the wall like empty air. The Florinalls struck solid brick and were consumed by flames.

Outside the front of the factory, a few remaining Florinalls struggled to their feet. They were stragglers, their extremely light bodies easily thrown back by the force of the explosions. They lifted their heads, their split jaws opened wide, and they gurgled and hacked in unison, oozing their sap. There was a sound, like a metallic ratchet, and the Florinalls looked behind them. Madame Vastra stood in her tight black fencing regalia, swords drawn and ready for battle. Jenny Flint was close behind, her own blades out. Strax stood ready with his plasma cannon charged, grinning and breathing heavily. Beside him Koizumi hung back with the axe by his side.

"Creatures," Madame Vastra called out, raising her sword, "Prepare to die in the name of the British Empire!" They charged.

…

Several yards behind the burning factory, on a dock by the Thames, Yuki sat up on the ground in front of Kyon, her head bent low as he pulled the spikes from her back, one hand resting on her shoulder to steady her. The horse stood aside, watching the spectacle. She made no sounds, but gripped his arms tightly. The holes closed as each spike was removed, and soon there was nothing but the shaft sticking through her neck. Kyon grasped the spike, held on to Yuki's head firmly, and slowly drew it out, shivering as he listened to the sound of ragged barbs cutting through soft flesh. The protrusions gone, the holes all closed, and Yuki slowly stood up. She looked at Kyon and swallowed the remaining blood. "Thank you."

"No, thank you," Kyon sighed, his nerves finally settling. He had seen the extent of Yuki's durability a few times before, but it was still painful to watch her take such punishment. He didn't notice that he was still stroking her face.

"Does it hurt when you do that?" the Doctor asked. Kyon whipped his hand away as the Doctor appeared out of nowhere beside them. The TARDIS stood on the bay in the distance.

Miss Asahina was behind him, her eyes were wet with tears, staring at the spike in Kyon's other hand. She rushed over and hugged Yuki, crying and shaking her, then pulled Kyon into the same embrace, holding them tightly and muttering in her sorrow. It must have been hard for her to watch him pull those spikes out, Kyon thought, even Miss Asahina wasn't normally this clingy. It was also getting hard for him to take her shaking him like this, he smiled to himself. Yuki was still and silent, taking Mikuru's blubbering affection in stride.

The Doctor took his attention away from them to see the Paternoster Gang coming around the factory. Itsuki Koizumi walked ahead of them, the axe over his shoulder, the edge covered in sap, and he held aloft a ragged wooden hand, severed at the wrist. "Yes, Itsuki!" The Doctor called out. "I think that'll do nicely!"

…

"We've lost the command signal. The anomaly is still at large."

"Oh yeah? Where was the last transmission point?"

"Alpha one, four seven eight zero epsilon bravo. By the Thames."

"Was it the Doctor?"

"Probably."

"Nuts. Well, pass it up to the head office. I've got to see a man about a ship. Hyperion or something. Open the receiving bay, prep the cells, and turn on the kettle, it's gonna be a long night."

To Be Continued In The Fifty First Century


	5. Stand By Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone is wondering, the notes attached to these stories are from their initial Fanfiction.net posting. I didn't feel like changing them.

Introduction: Damn, I really thought I'd beat New Year's with this one. It's been a busy few months. I guess we can't always get what we want. So, this is where the second arc of the story begins to build up. This story promises quite a few twists and turns before it reaches its end.

The Synopses

Doctor Who:

The Last of the Timelords, the Oncoming Storm, the Lonely God. The Doctor is an alien from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous, who long ago stole a wondrous sentient ship called the TARDIS (Time And Relative Dimensions In Space) from his own people and ran away. Bigger on the inside and stuck in the shape of a 1950's London Police Box, the TARDIS can travel anywhere in time and space. Completely brilliant and mad as a hatter, the unnamed Doctor and his companions wander through the fourth dimension, looking for fun and always finding trouble. He has lived many lives and encountered many strange, frightening beings, running from the universe for twelve hundred years, and he's not stopping for anything.

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya:

Kyon was an ordinary high school student, resigned to live an ordinary life, until the eccentric Haruhi Suzumiya turned his life upside down. She is a mad, energetic young girl who has spent her life looking for excitement and the impossible, never realizing that she truly is the impossible. A mysterious event from three years ago has given her the ability to control reality, her slightest whims coming true without her ever knowing, often with disastrous consequences. They are joined by the SOS Brigade, Suzumiya's bizarre after school club secretly staffed by a mysterious alien reality hacker [Yuki Nagato], a ditzy time traveling 'watchdog' [Mikuru Asahina] and an eerily optimistic psychic, or ESPer [Itsuki Koizumi], each with a vested interest in making sure this anomaly stays safe. With their help, Kyon struggles daily to keep Haruhi Suzumiya's incredible powers a secret and help her live a normal life. And she won't make it easy for him. A slice-of-life dramedy with an epic sci-fi twist.

Stand By Me

"You are the most repugnant piece of Earther scum it has ever been my displeasure to encounter, and I shall destroy you for your unforgivable insolence! Your women and offspring will weep with fear when they see what I have done to your frail mortal form!"

General Strom glared menacingly at the man across the table from him, all his hatred and spite mustered into one expression as he tested the limit of his restraints. The man glanced over his clipboard at the Sontaran and the seven guards along the back wall, then looked down at his notes again. He sipped his tea.

"General Strom, sir, I just want to know what sort of foods you and your men like to eat. So I can send the menu to the cafeteria, you see. And I also need to know if you have any allergies, that sort of thing. We've never had any Sontaran guests here before, and it's important to keep this place in line with the health code."

"I AM ALLERGIC TO YOUR COWARDICE!" Strom bellowed, attempting to launch himself over the table, but stopped short. He was pulling against his restraints, temporarily bolted to the table.

There was a sudden thud and Strom fell face first onto the table. One of the guards stood behind him brandishing a ball-peen hammer.

The man scribbled in long form. "C-O-W-A-R-D-I-C-E. Okay, it should be fairly easy to keep that out of the luncheon meat. We'll speak with some of your men regarding the rest of this report. Thank you very much for your time, General."

He was still scribbling notes when they tilted back the chair and rolled Strom's limp body out of the room. He sipped his tea, never looking up.

…

"The Fire Brigade is inbound, Madame Vastra," said Inspector Gregson. "They'll have what's left of this blaze under control in short order. But I have to know, what really happened here?"

Madame Vastra adjusted her veil with care as Jenny stood by offering up her best coat. "Pest control, Inspector, and soon to be outside of our jurisdiction, I can assure you. We are simply awaiting confirmation."

The factory blaze was dying away when Scotland Yard finally showed up. Madame Vastra was explaining the attack to the chief inspector. The Doctor was investigating the charred ruins for survivors. They knew the factory had been cleared of vagrants by the Yard, and kept that way for the past week at Vastra's request, but he wanted to be certain they weren't leaving any Florinalls behind. Without a central command unit, their behavior was dangerously unpredictable.

Itsuki Koizumi was tending to the specimen they had acquired in the TARDIS. Kyon and Yuki Nagato were introducing Strax to his new horse. The horse was nervous, the Doctor could tell, but Strax was very welcoming. Apparently, he was impressed by the horse's performance under stress. He would be okay. Probably.

Mikuru Asahina hugged herself as she watched the fire dance, the flames licking a Florinall carcass, charred black. The Doctor was poking the bodies with a borrowed nightstick. He cocked his head at the sound of her voice. She was crying silently, or at least she thought it was silent.

The Doctor sighed. "They didn't suffer, you know. Their bodies are made of organic matter, but their brains are comprised entirely of software. They're an engineered species, only technically alive. They're just robots made of bamboo, grown in the shape of people, nothing inside to suffer the pain of death."

Mikuru looked up at him. "Really?"

"It's okay," The Doctor smiled, "nobody died tonight."

"Not for lack of trying, right?" Kyon asked as he and Yuki stepped up from behind the Doctor. "So did we get them all?"

The Doctor turned, his fez swinging its tassel as he did. "Yup, this house is clean, all Florinall activity is neutralized. Right, everyone back to the TARDIS, we're up in five minutes."

"And I was just getting used to this place. Maybe I could visit London again someday," Kyon said as he led Yuki and Mikuru down the pier and back to the TARDIS.

"You should! It's a lovely old city. Try to avoid London at Christmas time, though. It tends to get a little hairy around here during the holidays!" The Doctor called as he walked back toward Madame Vastra to give her the good word. "Well, whenever I'm in town, anyway," he said to himself quietly.

…

The TARDIS groaned as it slid through the higher dimensions of time. The Florinall hand sat open palm on the console as the Doctor studied it, his sonic screwdriver buzzing tones Kyon hadn't heard before. Wires plugged into the stump fed right into the console as the old fashioned typewriter embedded inside began typing up results, a long scroll of paper pooled on the floor. The Doctor stepped back and read the results intently.

The SOS Brigade hung around the console behind him, still in their Victorian dress. Why bother changing, Kyon thought? If the Doctor could roam around on other planets in a bowtie, why not keep up the cosplay? It certainly gave him more confidence strolling around in a new time and place.

"Interesting," the Doctor said in a low voice. "There's a custom transmat circuit built into the palm, probably stolen from a vortex manipulator, that's how they traveled through time. They have an external memory drive set in alongside the transmat circuit. Wiped, though. I wonder why it needed one there. There's also an unusual chemical embedded in the tissue, not something I've seen before. I don't like that, it offends me. I mean, it doesn't do anything at all. It's not like the tissue replicator that allowed them to change shape and weaponize themselves. Why did they make a modification like this?"

"Does any of that tell us who sent them?" Kyon asked.

"We won't know that until we can match the serial number on the hand against the records in… what was it, Doctor?" Koizumi asked.

"The Orion Federation Central Shipping Hub, the record room," The Doctor said, flipping a switch and rounding the console. "It's on Meridian, the homeworld of the Orion Federation. That's where we'll find out who owns this fellow. Yuki and I will break in to find the information, Mikuru will remain here to watch over Haruhi. Keep the door locked until I get back."

"And what about us?" Kyon asked, gesturing to himself and Koizumi.

"You're lookout. Just mill around outside the facility, look inconspicuous, and keep an eye out for anything unusual."

…

Unusual, he said. Kyon blinked as he stepped out of the TARDIS onto the main street. It was just turning night in the city and it was just as bright and as busy as midday. The cityscape was made up of brass, slanted, tube-like buildings that fed into each other through a series of highways which, from the ground, seemed to form an impenetrable labyrinth. The ground was no better. A concrete landscape devoid of any plant life [well, rooted plant life], packed with foot traffic, which permitted them a close look at the diverse blend of misshapen alien creatures with briefcases and tablets, Florinall laborers carrying out menial tasks, and rainbow colored humanoids in suits going about their business. Kyon had just stepping into George Lucas' idea of Wall Street. The SOS Brigade watched the traffic walk past from behind a pile of boxes in a quiet alley between two retaining walls.

"It's not quite what I expected," Koizumi said. "With a name like Orion, I would have thought they were more militaristic. This feels more like a business district."

"They WERE militaristic four hundred years ago, your basic imperialist conquerors," the Doctor replied. "Now the only conquering here is being done by accountants and bureaucrats. It's what you get when a military culture decides to 'civilize.'"

"Doctor, how the hell are we supposed to tell from unusual in a place like this? We're the unusual ones here!"

"Use your instincts, Kyon, it's not that hard," The Doctor said, his hands on his hips. "People all over the universe tend to react the same way to intruders poking through their things. Except for the Arcturans, they eat them with biscuits before having them killed."

"You made that up!" Kyon accused through clenched teeth.

"Prove it," the Doctor smiled. He then turned to Nagato. "Yuki, lovely as that dress is, you may want to change into something a bit more contemporary for this mission."

Yuki Nagato glanced at the Doctor, then at her dress. While bloodless, it was still somewhat tattered from the Florinall attack. She whispered a string of code and her clothes jumped and scrambled, rippling across her frame until it stood reconfigured into a light blue jumpsuit.

"Great!" the Doctor said, his thumbs up.

"It could use a pair of glasses," said Kyon, eyeing the Doctor flatly.

"Megane," Yuki said, then jumped up and snatched the fez right off the Doctor's head. Before he could react, the fez twisted inside out and remade itself into a pair glasses. She slipped them over her eyes, the entire act done in one move. The Doctor looked bewildered, then crestfallen, and returned Kyon's glare. Kyon had a wry smile now.

"Yeah," the Doctor said in a creeping tone. "Looks good. Glasses are cool. Let's go."

The Doctor led the SOS Brigade across the plaza and down the road until they arrived at a domed structure. The sign across the entrance read "Central Operations."

"It's nice to see Japanese is such a common language across the universe," Kyon said observing the sign.

"It's not in Japanese, the TARDIS translates," the Doctor explained. "Didn't you think it was odd that everyone in Victorian England could speak fluent Japanese?"

Kyon was silent. The Doctor pointed to a café across the plaza. "Go hole up in there, order something in Italian if you can manage it. Just keep an eye on the entrance. The facility has no security of its own, so if they call for reinforcements this is where they'll enter."

Koizumi gestured to a group of Florinalls waiting by a loading dock. "Should we be worried about how many Florinalls there are around here?"

"Not a chance, they're designed for labor. The Orion Federation Forces are in charge of maintaining security here. Anyone who uses Florinalls as weapons is trying to keep a secret," the Doctor said as he and Nagato left them for Central Operations. He straightened his bowtie. "Time to find out what that secret is."

The Doctor flashed a folding wallet along the entry pad, and the door slid open. He chuckled and held it out for Nagato.

"Psychic paper! It reacts to thought patterns to…" the Doctor started, then noticed Nagato wasn't even looking. "You already know what psychic paper is."

Yuki nodded. The Doctor pocketed his paper with a huff and kept walking. Mikuru would have been impressed.

…

"Yurt, our shift is up. Don't forget to lock up when you leave."

"Yes, Mr. Alvarez," Yurt replied, barely looking up from his desk.

Yurt was a very humble creature, by his own evaluation. He worked at his desk behind the blast shield in the records department quietly and diligently, trying to never draw attention to himself. Of course, when you are the only Beteljuician Tortoise Sapient in the office, this is a rather difficult accomplishment. Yurt was small for his species, his shell larger than he was, his eyes always sunken and wet as if he'd been crying, and his comb over was always greasy and obvious. But he always had a little smile to put you at your ease. He did not like to make waves, he just did as he was told.

"Hello."

Yurt looked up into the beaming face of a young humanoid in a bowtie. He held up a folding wallet with an executive order against the glass for him to inspect. Behind him stood a young cadet in uniform. Very young, if Yurt had to guess, but with a quiet aura about her that put him at ease. An old soul, he supposed.

"John Smith, Orion Quality Control. We're searching for a Florinall unit, apparently it's a defective product. Potentially dangerous, lots of jobs on the line, it has to be cleaned up quickly and quietly. We need access to the inventory database. You will comply, I trust?" the man said.

Yurt stood up slowly, heaving the weight of his shell. "Of course sir, if you'll give me a moment."

"Not at all, standing by." The Doctor and Yuki stood back as the blast shields lifted and the wall behind Yurt slid away. A massive computer bank stood beyond the false wall.

"Rather ostentatious, isn't it?" the Doctor asked as his eyeline slid over the surface of the gigantic monitor.

Yurt glanced at it and shrugged. "It was the only one available."

…

Kyon stretched in his chair, his frock coat draped over the back of it. Koizumi scanned the entranceway to the building. Two cups of coffee bought them a table out of view of prying eyes. It was quiet enough for a busy street. The Doctor had been right about that, at least. An armed security force would be easy enough to spot.

"I just realized something," Kyon said idly.

"What's that?" Koizumi replied.

"All that time we spent in Victorian England. You told me once that Haruhi created the world three years before I met her, yet we just saw proof that the world existed just as we knew it over a hundred years ago."

"It was only a theory, Kyon," Koizumi smiled. "It wasn't that we didn't believe in a world before Miss Suzumiya, the Organization based those theories on the information we had at our disposal. There are still many things about the circumstances of her abilities that we do not know about."

"So you don't think what we're going through here refutes your beliefs?" Kyon asked.

"I can see how you might think it would, but I prefer to look at this as an opportunity to learn more about the universe as we know it, and about Miss Suzumiya."

Kyon glanced over his shoulder at a seven foot office drone with a face like a giraffe. He was having a business lunch with a super intelligent shade of blue. "And what about the Doctor? What's your theory on him?"

"What do you mean?"

"What does your big organization know about the Doctor?"

Koizumi shrugged. "Before he walked up and made off with us, I didn't even know he existed."

Kyon looked back. He studied Koizumi, trying to guess if he was kidding. Nevertheless, he was still smiling that damn smile of his. "You're joking. The others seemed to know all about him, why don't you?"

Koizumi scratched his head. "I guess he just doesn't travel in our circles."

"Huh. I was expecting something more than that."

"Why are you curious about him?"

"I've just been wondering if he knew about us."

"Us?"

Kyon reached for his coffee. "Haruhi and the Brigade, yeah. I mean, the way he found us seemed legit, but I can't help thinking that he knew what he was looking for all along. And the fact that you and Haruhi found his box so fast… I don't know, it just felt convenient. I feel like he planned it all out, like he knows more about what's going on than he's willing to tell us."

Koizumi leaned back in his chair. "What are you saying? Do you think he sent the Florinalls after us?"

"I don't know, is what I'm saying. I don't know about him. There are too many things I just don't get, and it makes me worried about what's going to happen next."

"Miss Nagato seemed to trust him well enough."

"Yeah, she did. And I wouldn't have gone with him otherwise. I just wish I knew what his stake in all this was."

It was quiet. Kyon looked up from his coffee. The front of the café was illuminated and Koizumi was looking up into the sky with an aghast face. He turned around.

…

"Here we go," the Doctor said. The screen flashed a shipping manifest and product file. "Florinall Labor Unit 2814-129-32! Sold to Reckme Outrun of Paseda, last registered to the starship Arkansas on assignment. That's where we need to go next!"

"Something is wrong," Yuki said suddenly. The Doctor looked at Yuki. She hadn't spoken since they entered the building.

The Doctor looked around, sniffing the air. "Hm, you're right. The air has taken on a charge in the last five minutes. But what is that?"

"Mister Smith?" Yurt stressed. The Doctor turned around to see that Yurt was being stared down by a tiny face from the other side of his desk. It was a little girl, probably five or six, with a red robe. Her hair was trussed up in a yellow ribbon.

"Is that Suzumiya?" the Doctor asked Yuki.

Yuki Nagato walked behind the small child and placed a hand on her shoulder. The child was still staring intently at Yurt. "Kappa," she whispered, her gaze unbroken as she studied the clerk with eager eyes. Yurt smiled at the little girl as warmly as he could, but he didn't understand what she was trying to say.

The Doctor pulled out his mobile phone and dialed up Kyon.

There was only one ring before the other line clicked on. "Yeah?"

"Kyon, I think we have a problem. I'm looking at a young Haruhi Suzumiya right now, I think perhaps she's projecting her subconscious mind into our dimension in her sleep. Her dreams are becoming real."

"We've got a bigger problem than that."

"Like what?"

"There's a Shinjin standing right outside of Central Operations, and it looks like it wants to smash the building open."

The Doctor froze. "Oh."

To Be Continued Across Time and Space...

Afterword:

For those of you unfamiliar...

Shinjin = a staple of the Haruhi Suzumiya series, also known as Celestials. When Haruhi Suzumiya is stressed out or otherwise mentally unstable, her tension is released while she sleeps by summoning giant beings made of light. These Shinjin occupy Closed Space, an empty parallel dimension where they can act out Haruhi's destruction fantasies safely. They are generally shut down by Espers like Itsuki Koizumi in order to prevent Haruhi from accidentally overwriting reality, which can happen if the Shinjin are left unchecked.

Point of interest

Shinjin can only exist in Closed Space, as the physics of the real world make it impossible for them stand up and move around under their own weight. This cliffhanger situation is supposed to be impossible.


	6. Attack On Shinjin

Okay, it's been awhile, but the Mystery of Haruhi Suzumiya has continued!

A few of you weren't entirely satisfied with the last chapter, and to be fair I wasn't proud of it either. I rushed it, I spent less time on it than any other chapter and I do feel the whole thing suffered as a result. I plan to rewrite it very soon, so stay tuned for that.

I'm still working my way through series 8 of Doctor Who, still haven't developed my opinion of Peter Capaldi, but so far I like him. And today I noticed that the Disappearance of Yuki-Chan Nagato has become an anime! Very nice, I hope it inspires someone to finish the Haruhi anime, I'm still a little sore that it's incomplete.

I hate leaving things unfinished. Well, here's the new chapter. As always, your feedback is always appreciated. It's the only way I'll ever improve. Now then, off to dinner.

The Synopsis

Doctor Who:

The Last of the Timelords, the Oncoming Storm, the Lonely God. The Doctor is an alien from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous, who long ago stole a wondrous sentient ship called the TARDIS (Time And Relative Dimensions In Space) from his own people and ran away. Bigger on the inside and stuck in the shape of a London Police Box, the TARDIS can travel anywhere in time and space. Completely brilliant and mad as a hatter, the unnamed Doctor and his companions wander through the fourth dimension, looking for fun and always finding trouble. He has lived many lives and encountered many strange, frightening beings, running from the universe for twelve hundred years, and he's not stopping for anything.

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya:

Kyon was an ordinary high school student, resigned to live an ordinary life, until the eccentric Haruhi Suzumiya turned his life upside down. She is a mad, energetic young girl who has spent her life looking for excitement and the impossible, never realizing that she truly is the impossible. A mysterious event from three years ago has given her the ability to control reality, her slightest whims coming true without her ever knowing, often with disastrous consequences. They are joined by the SOS Brigade, Suzumiya's bizarre after school club secretly staffed by a mysterious alien reality hacker [Yuki Nagato], a ditzy time traveling 'watchdog' [Mikuru Asahina] and an eerily optimistic psychic, or ESPer [Itsuki Koizumi], each with a vested interest in making sure this anomaly stays safe. With their help, Kyon struggles daily to keep Haruhi Suzumiya's incredible powers a secret and help her live a normal life. And she won't make it easy for him.

Attack on Shinjin

The Meridian Spaceport was what they called a twenty four hour operation. That was always a very strange phrase, he thought. Meridian itself operated on a 37 hour day cycle. Right now, Oberon Rathford felt as though he had been running every one of them. As the economic hub of the Orion Federation, the transit lines were always open for new arrivals and fresh cargo. But his shift was coming to a close, and all he could think about was the couch in the break room. Of course, any sensible man would rather sleep in a bed, but Rathford didn't really go home during a work week. Besides, that old tobacco-stained leather marshmallow was preferable to the filthy secondhand mattress in his staff apartment. There was just one more detail to iron out before he could crash for the evening. Fatigue demanded that he simply let her pass and get on with it, but Rathford was a proud company man, and this woman set off all the wrong alarms in his book.

She sat in his office as he struggled to get to the heart of the matter. "Ma'am, your criminal record has you flagged on our no-fly list. I need to know what you're doing here on Meridian."

The woman behind the counter shook her head and waved her hands, her sweet smile dispelling his discomfort. "If you have access to my records, then you must see that the murder charge was dropped. I was completely cleared of all wrongdoing."

"It was dropped, it seems, because the man you murdered didn't actually exist. Forgive me if that sounds suspicious, Miss Song."

"That's Professor, young man. Professor River Song."

"Professor of what?"

"Archeology."

"And what is a professor of archeology doing here? The entire planet is an economic and industrial sector, it's not a place for archeology. There are no museums or galleries in the entire world that would require your services, and since our people only settled the planet to adapt it into a business center, there is no real history under this planet for you to explore. Now stop dodging the question: What is the purpose of your visit?"

River sighed internally as his line of inquiry bore down. She knew commercial transit was a mistake. She should have just crashed a tradeship here, it would have taken less time to escape amidst a panicking mob. Ah, but it seemed more direct, and there was an unfamiliar feeling of obligation to walk the straight and narrow so soon after her final release. How foolish that had been. River Song, straight and narrow? She would know better than to trust a feeling like that ever again. The tedium was overwhelming and she desperately wanted to shoot this prat.

She managed to smile again and spoke through gritted teeth. "Pleasure."

There was a great thunderous noise and a bright light shining through the open architecture of the spaceport. River and Rathford looked out over the cityscape to see a glowing giant manifest in the central hub of the city. A great blue man of light brought his fists together and smashed open the front of some large public building. The screams of the city fell like a heavy rain over the terrible crash.

River burrowed her brow. Damn. She was running out of time now, it had already begun. On the bright side, she thought, the city would declare a state of emergency any second and they were alone. Evacuation conditions, no one would come. She gingerly placed her hands on the counter, swung over the desk, and kicked Rathford squarely in the head. As he dropped to the ground in a heap, she ran her fingers across the control panel and cleared herself for entry just as the emergency lights came down. The security doors opened with a gust of conditioned air as River swung back to the front of the counter and landed with a tap on her high heels. She picked up her bag and tossed her massive hair with a look of mild dissatisfaction.

"On second thought, sweetie, let's call it business," she said to the exhausted heap on her way out.

River Song stepped out onto the streets of Meridian with a smile on her face and a bag of tricks over her shoulder as the city flew into a panic all around her. It's always the Doctor doing something stupid, isn't it?

…

It happened so fast, there wasn't time to make sense of it. The giant's fists came down through the front of the Central Operations Building. Kyon watched Koizumi engulfed in red light and fire off into the sky. The surge of the crowd swept him down the streets in a mad panic, he had to fight to keep from falling under their feet as they carried him away. The last thing Kyon saw before he was crammed into the back of an emergency transport was the sight of the Shinjin tearing through the building as the red right encircled him.

…

Kyon sat down at last. He and the other evacuees had been deposited at the Orion Defense Center. There was footage of the battle running on every monitor, as the combined forces of the Orion Federation threw everything at the Shinjin, and Kyon recognized Koizumi's crimson streak darting across the battlefield trying to make a dent. He didn't know if it had been hours or minutes that he spent tossed around in that mob on the way over, everything was a blur. But now that he finally had a moment to himself, the weight of these events finally began to settle on him. He was now alone and lost on an alien world, thousands of years after his own birth, his friends were scattered and possibly dead, and he had no way to find his way back to them. He began to quietly panic as all these horrible new realities dawned on him. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

Kyon's cell phone rang. He picked up. "Well, that was bracing. How did you make out?" It was the Doctor.

"I'm in the defense center. Where are you? Where's Nagato? What was that about Haruhi being with you? What the hell am I supposed to do now?" Kyon spat out all at once, desperately reaching for any handle on the situation.

"In due time, first things first. Tell me about the fight, how is Koizumi holding up? How long until he's got Big Boy wrangled?"

Kyon paused, looking up at the footage as Koizumi circled the Shinjin. "Well, he's managing. But honestly, I've only seen him do this once, and he had a team of espers with him. I have no idea if Koizumi has ever fought one of these things by himself. Doctor, why is the Shinjin here? It's only supposed to appear in closed space!"

"How? Don't know, but on a guess I'd say it was due to transmitting from inside the TARDIS. The interior is itself a parallel pocket dimension, it probably altered the conditions of the manifestation. As for why, Haruhi is having a bad dream."

"Really?"

"I do hope so. Listen, we're all alive and together, but we're trapped under the rubble with a giant turtle named Yurt. I've been trying to get through to Miss Asahina, but she's not picking up. You're going to have to get back to the TARDIS and reset Haruhi manually."

"Reset… Haruhi?"

"I'll explain how when you get there."

Kyon looked around and threw his free arm in the air. "I'm huddled in a civilian shelter and the doors are locked, I can't get out. And how do I get into the TARDIS if I do get out?"

"Don't panic, that's one of my coats you're wearing, my hand-me-downs. You've got a TARDIS key in your breast pocket. Now, as for the shelter, fish around in the right-hand jacket pocket."

Kyon looked down and checked his pocket. It was much deeper than he expected, it took his whole arm to reach the bottom. He pulled out a bag and looked inside. "Um, some fruit candies. Am I supposed to bribe somebody?"

"Jelly babies, yes, no, sorry, wrong side. Try the left one. But don't throw those away, I might want them later. It has been awhile."

Kyon looked again, pulling out the device. The casing was strange, but coming from the Doctor, what else could it be? Another electronic wand. "Is this… a sonic screwdriver?"

"It's an older model from about three regenerations ago, give or take. The basic functions are simple enough: open locked doors, hack computers, you just point and think. Try not to hurt yourself."

"Okay. Any weapon mode or is it as useless as yours?"

"Call me when you get back to the TARDIS."

Kyon looked for the door. All he could see was panicking faces and huddled comfort, alight by the battle playing out on the screens and over the horizon through the windows. "Doctor. This is our fault, you know. We brought this here."

The silence hung in the air. "We had no choice. But you're right, and now we're going to fix it. Get back to the TARDIS. Run." Beep.

…

The Doctor slipped his cell phone away and started pacing around the room again, examining the walls and considering his options. It was the ground floor of a service stairwell, which he shared Yuki Nagato, Yurt the Clerk, and the strange childlike manifestation of Haruhi. She was sitting Yuki's lap, playing with her glasses and apparently unconcerned with their immediate peril. Yuki held her close, but seemed unmoved by little Haruhi's idle fascination.

The upper floors were blocked off by a large collapsed wall which took out the stairs. The Doctor's scans had indicated tons of concrete and steel weighing on top of it. If the battle ended in the next hour, he figured they could expect rescue in at least twelve hours, and with some very awkward questions from the Orion Federation. And that was a best case scenario. They would need another way out before this.

Yurt was watching the two girls with interest. She and Agent Smith seemed to know exactly what she was when they saw her, and they didn't seem terribly concerned about being pinned under thousands of feet of concrete with some giant trying to track them down. He was beginning to wonder if they really were from Quality Control at all.

"Kyon can help us get this situation back under control. It's lucky for us the building was already empty."

"I cannot eliminate the debris above without drawing unwanted attention, and I cannot do so while the attack is ongoing," Yuki said. It might have been concern, but her tone was flat and gave no indication of stress.

"I wouldn't mind if we drew a little attention, under the circumstances," Yurt said, smiling slightly.

"It's not a problem, Nagato, I'll have Kyon swing by and pick us up," the Doctor said assuredly.

Yuki looked up at the Doctor blankly. He rolled his eyes, she didn't have to say it.

"Yes, I know he doesn't know how, but I can walk him through. It's only five levers and a few dozen buttons. It's not like we're asking Miss Asahina to fly the TARDIS into the 80's or anything, Kyon can follow simple directions."

Yuki blinked. Even little Haruhi and Yurt looking up at him now.

The Doctor fidgeted. "There's always Koizumi. Once we've settled this Shinjin nonsense."

"You said you couldn't contact your other agent, Asahina, the one who should be doing that thing you were talking about," Yurt said, trying to make sense of things. "How did you lose contact?"

The Doctor turned. "That is a good question. We left her in the TARDIS, she should have been in position to receive my call and deal with this thing. And there's no way we could have lost contact, these phones will work through anything. The connection works, she's just not answering."

…

Kyon ran across the plaza as the battle continued. He was pointing the sonic screwdriver ahead of him like a torch, as if it would protect his passage. The real fighting was a block away, and he scarcely recognized the street he'd only seen an hour ago, but for the heavy debris that made a maze of it. The noises were indescribable, he was breathing smoke, tasting cordite and residual plasma, a sobering sensation of running through a warzone. And there it was, still tucked away right off the main drag and flashing the words "Police Box" like a lighthouse in the fog. He flocked to it, the TARDIS key in hand and into the lock before he knew it.

Kyon ran through the door, up the steps, past the empty console, and up into the heart of the TARDIS. It only took a few minutes for him to find Haruhi's room. She was still in bed, but she was sweating and tossing her head, her breathing uneven. Where was Miss Asahina? Kyon dialed her. He got nothing. Never mind. He dialed the Doctor.

"Hello Kyon! Are you there already? Brilliant! On the dresser across the room, there is a selection of tea bags and a pitcher of water. You don't need to boil the water, it boils as soon as it exits the Kinetic Pitcher. Use the tea in the mauve bag, it's a kind of decaffeinated sleepytime blend from the Diamont cluster, very spacey. I prepared it to buy us a few more hours on Haruhi's sleep cycle, I just haven't had a chance to use it."

"How do I get her to drink it without waking her up?" Kyon whispered as he poured the tea.

"She doesn't need to drink it, just prop her up and give her a big whiff. That will be more than enough. It will stabilize her stress levels and refresh her synaptic relays. Good as new!" the Doctor said. Kyon nodded and shut his phone, laying it down and lifting the teacup.

Kyon hesitated as he got near. Haruhi moaned slightly and swayed her head. He bit his lip and sat on the bed next to her. He slipped his free hand under her back and gently lifted her into a sitting position. She felt so soft, so warm to him. She inhaled and lifted her head.

Haruhi's eyes were open. Kyon froze. Shit! He woke her up! What was he going to do? How was he going to explain this? What was she going to say?!

Haruhi blearily stared at nothing, her eyes moist and full of sleep. She swayed, still covered in sweat. She looked at Kyon blankly. She exhaled, closing her eyes and slumped forward. Kyon exhaled tightly and brought the tea under Haruhi's face. She sucked in the warmth and sighed sweetly, her tension melting away as Kyon laid her down and tucked her back in. Haruhi rolled herself up and drifted away into a deep sleep.

…

Silence fell. Itsuki Koizumi landed on the roof of a half demolished office building and observed the spectacle as the Shinjin dropped its arms and inhaled deeply before exploding into a cloud of stardust. Koizumi collapsed to his knees with an anguished sigh.

On the street below, River Song started running hard now. The Shinjin was gone already, there wasn't much time left!

Under the ruins of the Central Operations Building, the Doctor and Yuki looked up, listening to nothing. Little Haruhi sighed sweetly and snuggled up against Yuki.

"Is that it? Is it over, then?" Yurt said, lifting his head.

"Yes, I should say so. The Shinjin is dispersing! Everything is alright now!"

"No, it's not."

The Doctor looked down at Yuki. Yuki was looking at little Haruhi. She was settled, but she wasn't smiling anymore.

"The severed mouth woman is still looking for me."

"The severed mouth woman?" the Doctor asked. His eyes lit up. "No."

…

Kyon's phone vibrated, slowly coasting along the surface of the dresser and bumping against the Kinetic Pitcher, where Kyon left it.

"MISS ASAHINAAA! WHERE ARE YOU?!" Kyon walked down the corridors of the TARDIS, shouting for Mikuru. She wouldn't have just abandoned Haruhi like that. He had to figure out where she went. She wouldn't have left the TARDIS, although he thought it might be perfectly easy for her to become lost in it.

HE was getting lost. The corridor that led him back to the control room had changed, the TARDIS was rerouting him through new rooms. Was it trying to make him lose his way? Was it trying to lead him to Miss Asahina? Did it want him to take a swim? He wondered this as walked along the swimming pool to the door on the far side of the room. Why did it always change every time he walked in?

Kyon listened to the TARDIS as he strode the turquoise steel halls, and he became more aware of his surroundings. The corridors WERE changing, he was sure of it, and that wasn't the only thing. The drone and the pitch of what Kyon assumed was the engine seemed to change depending on where he walked. A low grumble for a wrong turn, like a shifting mound of gravel, a reverberating ping for a right one. Was the TARDIS alive? Where did it want him to go?

In the dark of the corridor, one door stood open and alight. Kyon looked inside. Melted wax and dried paper hit his nose before he saw the first stack. It was a library, and it was massive, at least four open floors of walls covered in books. Even shelves of bottles with what appeared to have book names. Of course, the Doctor would have a library, but why did the TARDIS want him here? Kyon strode through the shelves and the random stacks of books that led to the ceiling. Yuki would love this room, and Kyon knew he'd never get her out. Could Asahina be in here?

Auburn hair, Kyon spotted it out the corner of his eye and ran for the corner. It was Mikuru Asahina, sprawled on the floor with a toppled stack of books beside her. Uncertain, Kyon knelt down and checked her out. She was breathing and unconscious. Knowing her, this story told itself. Kyon let out a heavy sigh. "That's a relief. I thought maybe you were in trouble."

Kyon heard a gurgled sigh and froze. A steely hand clenched at the back of his jacket and yanked him up before he could react, and found himself facing an angry Florinall. It looked so different without its coat, fresher and greener than before, a tightly woven muscular system made entirely of vines, and solid branch anchoring at every joint. Its eyes were hollow and angry, its severed mouth opened wide and moist like a decaying swamp. He could smell wet grass. The hand which held him was brown, older than the rest of the creature. The severed hand! It had grown back!

It lifted Kyon into the air and bawled at him in silent frustration, then tossed him into the air. Kyon crashed against the shelves and crumpled to the ground, an avalanche of novels burying him instantly. The Florinal inspected its handiwork, dribbling chlorophyll onto the ground.

"SSssssilencccce," the Florinal drawled. Kyon quivered beneath the tomes, but made no response. The Florinal straightened up, seeming to smile. "Sssilence will fall." The Florinal bolted off in search of its prize.

…

River Song burst into the TARDIS, her sonic blaster drawn. "DOCTOR?! ASAHINA? KYON?" she called out as she scanned the control room. She cocked her head and took aim at the top level. Dammit, it had a hostage.

The Florinal was carrying Haruhi Suzumiya, unconscious and wrapped in a blanket. It regarded River for a moment, grinned, and disappeared, carried away by the Vortex Manipulator.

River sighed and lowered her gun. So she was too late after all. No thanks to Rathford and his damn questions, she thought. Right then, might as well stick to the plan.

…

The Doctor heard it first, the low rumble of the engine. The sudden burst of wind in an enclosed space. The dim lights and transparent outline. The TARDIS groaned and materialized into view before their eyes. Yurt was shielding his head, little Haruhi was bouncing with joy, Yuki was looking, and the Doctor was tense.

River Song opened the door. Kyon, Asahina and Koizumi stood close behind, their faces were somber. "I'm sorry, my love. They've taken her."

…

Genereal Strom laughed, slamming his fist onto the table. "The Doctor fails again! A fine tale! What happened next?"

Yurt took a swig of tomato soup. He was much older now. His shell was rough and cracked, his skin dry and loose, even his comb-over was gone. "There is not much to tell. They dropped me back off in the Civilian Center, and five days later I was accosted by the Orion Federation, and charged with allowing an outsider access to our most restricted files. Apparently the surveillance system survived the attack. The Federation claimed they were terrorists, that the giant attack, the 'Shinjin' as they called it, was their own doing, and that I was an accessory. So, naturally, they sent me here. That must have been fifty years ago, I think. It's hard to keep track of time in this place."

"Ha! It is a pity you cannot apply for an appeal, I doubt he was responsible at all. I knew the Doctor once, he was a pestiferous weakling. He had no stomach for genocide or mass hysteria. They did not know what they were talking about. Of course, he is dead now, isn't he? Lake Silencia, they say that's where he met his end." Strom stirred his soup, and began to growl. "He should never have made it that far. I wish I had been there with you on that day. I could have crushed his feeble skull with my own two hands."

"I believe you would, General," Yurt said with a slight smile. Strom's bluster was fiery, but he was actually welcome company, and Yurt quite liked his stories. He never would have thought he could enjoy a lunch with a Sontaran.

The heavy gate on the flying catwalk slid open, and the Warden led a procession through. A new prisoner, Yurt thought? Then he saw who it was. Encased in an anti-grav tube, it was her! The little girl from the stairwell all those years ago. Yurt watched her intently as they passed above him. She was older now, but nowhere near as old a human should be after fifty years. What had happened to her? What was she doing here, and where were they taking her?

The Warden directed the prison transport into the elevator and sealed them in. He watched as the numbers counted down, then disappeared, all the way down in the Vault. He scribbled some fresh notes. The anomaly was accounted for. Time for a cup of tea, he thought.

To Be Continued...


	7. No One To Hear You Call

This one took some time, but at last we're entering the third arc. I expect this one to be much longer than the others. A lot of new characters are being introduced, and a lot of long standing threads will come together in the following chapters. As ever, feedback and criticism is appreciated, especially if you've already fav'd and followed this story.

The Synopsis

Doctor Who:

The Last of the Timelords, the Oncoming Storm, the Lonely God. The Doctor is an alien from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous, who long ago stole a wondrous sentient ship called the TARDIS (Time And Relative Dimensions In Space) from his own people and ran away. Bigger on the inside and stuck in the shape of a London Police Box, the TARDIS can travel anywhere in time and space. Completely brilliant and mad as a hatter, the unnamed Doctor and his companions wander through the fourth dimension, looking for fun and always finding trouble. He has lived many lives and encountered many strange, frightening beings, running from the universe for twelve hundred years, and he's not stopping for anything.

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya:

Kyon was an ordinary high school student, resigned to live an ordinary life, until the eccentric Haruhi Suzumiya turned his life upside down. She is a mad, energetic young girl who has spent her life looking for excitement and the impossible, never realizing that she truly is the impossible. A mysterious event from three years ago has given her the ability to control reality, her slightest whims coming true without her ever knowing, often with disastrous consequences. They are joined by the SOS Brigade, Suzumiya's bizarre after school club secretly staffed by a mysterious alien reality hacker [Yuki Nagato], a ditzy time traveling 'watchdog' [Mikuru Asahina] and an eerily optimistic psychic, or ESPer [Itsuki Koizumi], each with a vested interest in making sure this anomaly stays safe. With their help, Kyon struggles daily to keep Haruhi Suzumiya's incredible powers a secret and help her live a normal life. And she won't make it easy for him.

No One To Hear You Call

"It was right then that the giant appeared in the middle of the city, in a flash of light. I was careless, and that woman took advantage of my distraction to knock me out, pass the checkpoint and enter the city. I have no excuses to give, she got in because of me."

Oberon Rathford sat before inquiry board as he made his final statement. Above him floated a holographic screen which displayed the available evidence. There were shots of River Song's meeting with him at customs, which cut to a long range shot of River entering the TARDIS. The head of the inquiry board read the packet in front of him carefully, and raised his head slowly.

"No excuses are necessary, Mr. Rathford. It is clear to us that you were not at fault in this matter. Given the evidence available on vid footage, not to mention an exemplary ten year service record as head of security for the transit department, you have been cleared of all suspicion. Now, with all traffic locked until the investigation is complete, it seems you have earned a much needed vacation. Return to your apartment and relax. We'll call you when it's time to come back. Try to get some rest, and don't worry. Some people are going to jail for this. Dismissed."

Rathford bowed his head slightly and turned to leave. He walked through the waiting room as the speaker rang out, "Rembrandt Yurt, report for debriefing." Rathford walked past the old turtle as he left the room.

The balcony of the central intelligence building was mostly intact, and offered a wide view of the carnage. There were no casualties listed in the final report, the Shinjin focused all of its attention on an empty building during the evacuation, but the damage to the city during the ensuing battle had yet to be calculated. It could set the Federation back trillions, and they were losing money daily during the cleanup. Rathford leaned against the window and drank in the view. This was a horror show, and someone had to pay for it.

Perhaps it was time to shift focus. He thought back to the message he had received from his security firm the other day. They were about to offer him another assignment. Something about a new kind of prison.

...

"THIS WAS YOUR FAULT!" Kyon snapped, his fists wound tightly with impotent fury. He faced the Doctor with naked rage, barely containing the urge to punch him in his smug face. "You brought that… thing into the TARDIS and left it unattended. This never would have happened if you had thrown it in a garbage can when we landed! That Florinall dragged Haruhi away RIGHT UNDER OUR NOSES!"

"But it was impossible, there's no way it could have regenerated that fast! The whole point of taking only a hand was to impede reconstitution! The body should not have had enough energy to rebuild a complete form, at least not for another 100 days!"

"That's why the bodies are saturated in Astratophyl-9," River cut in.

The Doctor cocked his head and Kyon gazed blankly, she could tell the reference was lost. She elaborated. "Astratophyl-9 is a regen accelerator, extremely rare. It's engineered specifically to activate after prolonged exposure to Artron energy."

"Which it was able to siphon off through its direct connection to the TARDIS console," the Doctor groaned, rubbing his face. "That's what that chemical was. Which means my involvement was anticipated. It was a Trojan Horse by design."

River Song grabbed the Doctor's hands and held them together. "Focus, sweetie, there's more. The Outrun angle is a dead end. This chemical didn't exist during the year of the Shinjin attack. The Florinall that took Suzumiya is a future version of the model serving aboard the Arkansas, at least fifty years older. That's when Astratophyl-9 was invented, and it makes the Florinalls seem much fresher than they really are. I've followed the paper trail, the last known sale of that Florinall was to a trade ship that was raided by pirates. It was a black market mod, untraceable."

Kyon listened to the two time travelers comparing notes. Haruhi was gone, and the entire TARDIS was feeling empty. It had only been an hour, and they still had no idea where to begin looking. And now it seemed that the entire trip to Meridian was a waste of time, as it brought them no closer to finding the people responsible. Kyon barely found the time to be surprised by the fact that the Doctor has a wife. Or that she was a gun-toting professor, at that.

The only thing that alleviated the melancholy was the presence of Haruhi-chan, the strange child-like projection of Haruhi Suzumiya. While the Shinjin dissolved on Meridian, the child remained even after her creator was taken. She was bouncing on Mikuru's lap, a bag of Jelly Babies in her hands, scarfing them down one after another. The members of the SOS Brigade stayed near her almost unconsciously, huddling together on one side of the console while the small girl bounced and giggled. Mikuru held her close, on the verge of tears and barely hanging onto her composure.

"You know, that brings up a very important question, Professor Song. How did you even know which Florinall to look up before we did?" Kyon asked. "And how is it you came to be on Meridian right when we needed you?"

"Because the Doctor asked me to be there after this mission was over," River said. "Or rather, after it will be over."

"River and I are travelling through time in different directions, we never meet in the right order," the Doctor explained, plopping down in the chair against the console railing. "Apparently I'll decide to use that to our advantage and sent her back to help."

"So do you know where Haruhi is right now?" Kyon strode over to River and asked imploringly.

"I'M RIGHT HERE! LOOK AT ME!" Haruhi-chan chirped, her hand in the air and almost punching Mikuru in the face. Mikuru gently put her hands down and started whispering to her to keep still.

River smiled slightly, then straightened up. "No, I don't. The Doctor didn't tell me. Matter of fact, he was rather vague on the whole assignment."

Kyon glanced at the Doctor, his face twisted with frustration. "Gee, that was helpful. So how are we supposed to find her now?"

"Finding Haruhi is ridiculously easy, Kyon."

Kyon gaped at the Doctor. "What?"

The Doctor steepled his fingers and looked around the room as everyone shot him a questioning glare. "Haruhi reached out to us during the attack, and even though the Shinjin is gone, the proxy is still here. We can use the connection to locate the source. Rather obvious, really," he said with a self-satisfied grin.

Kyon thought a moment, then looked down at Mikuru's lap. Haruhi-chan met his eyes, smiling sweetly and popped a Jelly Baby in her mouth. He then looked back to the Doctor. "So why haven't you done it yet?"

"Because then what? We have no idea what we'll be wandering into, and now that they've caught her, they have the advantage. We don't know who's commanding the Florinalls, why they took her, or how they knew I was looking for her before I did. And the bigger mystery here is still Haruhi Suzumiya herself."

"What do you mean? What about Haruhi?"

"Suppose our enemies wanted her to take advantage of her powers? We don't really know what they are or where they came from. Is it something they can just remove or do they need to go digging for it? What are her limits? How much of what she does can be managed consciously? And what happens when she wakes up? There is a universe of unanswered questions about her, and that's going to make matters much more dangerous when we go to rescue her."

"We can't just wait."

The Doctor threw his arms out. "We're in a time machine, Kyon, we have all the time we need to save her."

"This debating is a waste of time when we don't really know anything. If we can learn where she is from Haruhi-chan, then at least then we'll have something to go on. It may be a risk, but what else is there?"

The Doctor sighed. "Okay. I was rather hoping we'd have more to go on, but… okay."

Everyone gathered around Haruhi-chan. She was still chewing on a Jelly Baby as Kyon knelt down and placed his hand over the bag, closing it in spite of her whining objection.

"Haruhi-chan, can you tell us where Haruhi is right now?"

She looked at him incredulously. "It's me, Kyon-kun, I'm here."

Kyon chuckled and held her arms gently. "I see that. But there's another girl out there just like you. She's lost and alone, and we need to help her. Try to think, Haruhi-chan, try to think of where she might be."

Haruhi-chan squirmed and pouted. "Dunno."

"Haruhi-chan," he said, lingering.

"I don't know," she mumbled, her eyes filling with tears.

"Please, you have to concentrate," Kyon insisted. "You're our only chance of finding Suzumiya. We need you to help us find her."

"I can't!" she cried, bounding off Mikuru's lap and toddling to the other side of the console, covering her eyes. Kyon followed her slowly.

Kyon felt a hand on his shoulder. The Doctor knelt down beside Haruhi-chan. He smiled at her, a sad look in his eyes.

"Hello. I'm the Doctor, and I'm here to help. Do you remember me?" he asked. Haruhi-chan nodded, sniffling. The Doctor raised his hands and used them to cradle her face. "I know this is hard for you, but I need you to trust me. There's a faster way to find our friend."

"Is it gonna hurt?" Haruhi-chan asked.

"I would never hurt you," the Doctor said reassuringly. They both closed their eyes and touched heads.

For a moment, amidst the heaving groan of the TARDIS, all was quiet and still. Then there was light. A cascade of orange light began to roll off Haruhi-chan's face in waves. It began as a wisp, almost like steam, but it grew brighter and intensified in strength as the Doctor reached out through their shared connection. Kyon felt a wave of heat force him back as the pair became alight. Space rippled as the flash grew, then receded, and soon the Doctor was alone, kneeling where the little girl had stood, the bag of Jelly Babies dropped to the floor. "Good bye, my dear."

River approached the Doctor as he stood up. He lifted up the bag and popped a Jelly Baby in his mouth. "Do you know where she is?" she asked.

"Yeah," he began, his voice low and dreadful. "And you're not going to like this."

…

"The guards are on edge, they have been for the last three days. I can smell their nervous sweat from across the room" said Eloria Karn Grags Sheglimeen-Pem Slitheen, glancing over her enormous hunched shoulders at the armored watchman behind her. Her massive claws trailing along the table as her ripe baby face twisted in frustration. "They've tightened security through the entire station, and even shipped in more men from the Orion Special Forces. They're expecting something to happen here, something big."

"They're onto us!" cried Virgil Braxis, the old space pirate wiping the sweat from his ridged blue face. "They know about the supply ship!"

General Strom punched him in the arm without reservation. "They know nothing! And be quiet, coward, or we'll leave you behind! Gentlemen, this is not unaccounted for. These regular exchanges between the prison and the rest of the universe has granted us opportunities. There was a time when we had to wait years for a breach in the pocket. My man in the communications array has successfully made contact with Sontar, if we can just get control of the main bridge, we can summon a fleet to aid in our escape!"

The Zygon in the corner sucked in a mouthful of venom as he cleared his throat. "But what about the new battalion?"

"I leave them entirely up to your mercy, Redel."

Virgil looked over at Strom. "You what? The entire battalion? Are you joking? Is he joking?"

Virgil looked over at Redel. That red mass of puckering flesh returned his gaze with a grin, a fresh trail of venom dripping from his mouth. "I do have my ways."

"It is a wonder they did not simply throw you down into the Vault with the Omega level inmates, Redel. Knowing what you can do, I'm never comfortable when you're in the room," said Qwualen, smiling broadly. A tall, foppish con man, he draped himself over the top bunk like a lounging cat. If he truly was uncomfortable, his appearance gave nothing away. "But it won't mean anything if we can't breach the cells. We need someone who can work the electronics in the doors. Someone who knows this facility better than any of us."

"As usual, Sontaran ingenuity and forward thinking has allowed me to anticipate and solve this problem. I have recently entered into acquaintance with the oldest prisoner in the entire Oubliette," Strom declared. "Apparently, he has accrued an extensive knowledge of the prison's inner workings, and the ability to override every deadlock from here to the bridge. He is the key to our escape."

Eloria drew a sharp breath and the cell went quiet as a set of rickety wheels approached. From behind her, Rembrandt Yurt peeked inside to his fellow prisoners with a trolley of gumbo. All of his wrinkles gathered up into a pleasant smile. "Would any of you like some of this stew? It's really quite good today."

Strom smiled jovially. "Ah, Mister Yurt! We were just talking about you! Please, join us for a moment. We have things to discuss." Yurt slipped inside with a tray of soup bowls, the door closing promptly behind him.

…

The noise was terrifying, the TARDIS rattled and shook as if it were about to fly apart, the grinding sound of metal scraped through the air and rattled everyone aboard as it forced its way into the breach beyond universes. The Doctor fought with the console, shunting rooms and entire wings of the TARDIS interior to build up the power to break through.

Mikuru was wailing helplessly as she clung to Koizumi's waistcoat. He held her close, anchoring them to the railing. Kyon and Yuki braced themselves in the chair. River followed the Doctor around the console, correcting his trajectory and easing the passage. The Doctor was right. River didn't like this, and they weren't even there yet.

"THIS IS AN EXTRAORDINARILY BAD IDEA!" River screamed at him, hitting all the Blue Boringers.

"IT'S ALRIGHT, I'VE DONE THIS BEFORE!" the Doctor screamed back, swinging from the monitor. "RIGHT INTO THE CLUTCHES OF MURDEROUS GARBAGE HEAP!"

"THAT DOES NOT INSPIRE CONFIDENCE, SWEETIE!" River screamed as she threw the Wibbly Lever.

Suddenly the noise stopped, and Kyon could feel himself lifting in the air. Then there came a great crash, the console showered them with sparks and he was slammed back down. The Doctor pulled a lever and everything stopped. Kyon and Yuki had bounced right out of the seat. As the last groan of the engine died down, Kyon was rubbing the bump on his head to assuage the pain.

"I really need to do something about those gravity settings," the Doctor thought out loud as he offered his hand. Kyon took it with a slightly crooked smile. He absently reached for Yuki's hand to help her up, but he found himself grabbing at air. Kyon looked down and froze, a sudden panic crawling up from his stomach.

Yuki Nagato laid on the ground motionless, her usual blank expression staring off at nothing like a broken doll. Kyon released the Doctor's hand and dropped to his knees, his hands cradling her head carefully. Her eyes were still and cold, sightless.

He couldn't understand it. She'd been hanging on for dear life alongside him only a second ago. Kyon shook her lithe form gently, trying to stir a reaction. "Nagato?"

"Ooh, that's rather inconvenient," the Doctor said regretfully.

Kyon's face twisted as he looked back, the Doctor's casual appraisal of the situation grating on his nerves. "Inconvenient? What is wrong with you?!"

"What happened to Ms. Nagato?" Koizumi asked, alarmed. Mikuru drew a sharp gasp as they rounded the console to see.

"This location is outside the known universe, within an artificially generated pocket dimension, for security reasons," the Doctor explained. "As a humanoid interface, Nagato needs constant contact with the Overmind in order to function, but now she's cut off, hence the loss of motor control. Long term, she'll be fine once we return to the universe proper, but for now we've lost our strongest player. It's my fault, I should have accounted for it."

"Should have," Kyon repeated with a shriveling glare.

"There's no time children, we have to move," River said, drawing her sonic blaster and locking in the appropriate setting. "She'll be safe as long we leave her in the TARDIS. If we run into trouble, I'll deal with it."

"Can you promise me she'll be alright?" Kyon asked. "It's bad enough we have to save Haruhi, I'm not losing any more friends for you."

"The assembled hordes of Genghis Khan couldn't breach the TARDIS. I know from experience," the Doctor said. "Nothing can get to her."

Kyon looked between River and Yuki for a moment, then grumbled in frustration and carried Yuki to the cushioned chair along the railing, gently setting her down.

The Doctor stood by as Kyon joined them at the door. He straightened his bow tie and checked his sleeves. "Alright everyone, eyes up and ready. Now, I've calculated our trajectory very precisely, based on blueprints downloaded from Central Operations."

"When did you get those?" Kyon asked.

"Back on Meridian, I ripped a rather large database of Orion Federation facilities. Never know when you're gonna need a thing like that. If I may continue. This information has allowed me to select a landing site in a neglected storage depot, scarcely used at this hour, so we'll have plenty of time to scope out the scene, find Haruhi, and formulate a plan to rescue her. Just do as I do." The Doctor opened the door, stepped outside, and smiled suddenly. "Oh, hello."

An old man in a modest but freshly pressed green uniform stood before him, surrounded by a small platoon of Orion Federation troops and prison guards. His expression was mild and weary, his hair all but gone, and an ornate porcelain cup of tea in his hand.

"Hello Doctor, and welcome to the Oubliette, the maximum security prison satellite for the Orion Federation. My name is Oberon Rathford. I believe you and I have some important business to discuss."

To Be Continued in The Revelation


	8. The Revelations

It's been a rough year for me. Maybe 2016 will be smoother and full of new opportunities. And maybe I'll finish this story before then. Probably won't, but I'll try.

Okay, we're getting into the meat of the story now. Everything has been building up to these chapters. Remember, the Mystery of Haruhi Suzumiya is meant to be experimental writing, I'm trying to improve my styles. If you think there's something I'm doing right, or something I could be doing better, you let me know in the reviews.

At this point, I think the synapses are redundant. You must have read the previous chapters, so you already remember them.

The Revelations

The Oubliette Prison Station is not a place people go to pass a dime, as the saying goes. There is no reprieve, no appeal, and no parole. No possibility of escape. True to its name, the Oubliette is where people are sent away to be forgotten. It floats in empty space just outside the known universe, in a pocket dimension accessible only by special means. Even if there were a breakout, there was nowhere for anyone to go. The station itself was shaped something like a large top, a series of widening levels from the small front office and receiving bay down to the massive cell blocks, before a long elevator shaft led down to the Omega Vault, the most secure area of the entire facility.

The Omega Vault, to which the Doctor, River, and the SOS Brigade were being led under armed guard. Warden Oberon Rathford stood at the front of the group, flanked by his bodyguards, controlling the pod as it passed through each security checkpoint. The Doctor observed carefully, as every twenty meters of the shaft was protected by an independent and deadly security countermeasure. The last level was a high powered laser grid, and the next would be heat seeking plasma turrets. All deadlocked, all impassible without the correct security codes. This was going to be tricky.

"That was embarrassing," Kyon muttered, flanked by guards and riding the elevator to the Vault. "We're not even here five seconds after all that trouble and they were waiting for us. I can't believe it."

"You were the one who wanted to go straight away," the Doctor said, smiling, "and it was brilliant."

"Don't patronize me, pal."

"No, really, getting caught is the best way to find out what's going on. People let their guard down when they think they've got you at their mercy. As interrogation techniques go, it's always worked for me."

"And you're still alive? That is amazing. How is it you have survived this long if you let yourself get caught all the time?"

"It's a fine question, I've been asking it for years," River said, consoling a nervous Mikuru.

"You are not prisoners, you are guests," Rathford said without turning. "I have no intention of detaining you."

River smiled. "And here I thought you were still upset about our little disagreement all those years ago."

"I am an old man now, Professor Song, I have learned not to hold a grudge."

The Doctor perked up. "Seriously? That's a first. So, if you don't want us locked up in the Omega Vault, why are we going there at all? Who do you have locked away down there?"

Rathford finally turned to face him. "Doctor, I know you have come to liberate your companion. I know how she caused the attack on Meridian fifty years ago, and unlike you, I know exactly what she is. I know that what I have done is for the good of all life in the universe. And I know that by the time we are finished, you will understand, and you will leave her with me."

The Doctor stared silently at Rathford as his smile died. Kyon's skin crawled at the finality of his words.

The elevator made a satisfying 'Ding!' before opening up to the Omega Vault. It was a modular compartment with three separate cells, contained in solid steel cylindrical doors. The party stepped out onto the floor as Rathford tapped a command into the console in the middle of the room. One of the cylindrical doors dropped down from the ceiling into the floor to reveal a hospital bed, surrounded by monitoring equipment, with Haruhi Suzumiya slumbering peacefully inside her light blue jumpsuit. The head of the bed consisted of a dome which partially covered her head, feeding data into the equipment.

"Haruhi!" Kyon shouted.

"Miss Suzumiya!" Mikuru wailed.

Koizumi nudged their guards aside and the three students flocked to their bedridden leader. Her hands and arms were lined with a tangle of cables and wires, they had to dig through them to find her hands and wring them tightly.

"The suit allows us to keep her fed and hydrated intravenously, and has been wired to stimulate her muscles, to prevent atrophy, you see. The computer keeps her in a dreamless sleep while mapping her brain. This is necessary to prevent the rise of another giant," Rathford explained, sipping his tea.

"The Shinjin," Koizumi corrected him.

"They don't normally arise on the physical plane. That came as a result of dreaming inside the TARDIS," the Doctor said. "If they did rise here, you'd never know and you'd have no defense."

"And you brought her right into the middle of a populated city," Rathford said, glaring at him. "How irresponsible are you?"

"And she never would have left her hometown if you hadn't sent your murder plants after her," the Doctor glared back. "She was doing just fine on her own, lots of checks and balances in place, no destroying cities or anything, until your Florinalls came along."

Rathford settled into an indignant glance, then tilted back to gulp down the remaining tea. "You don't understand, but you will."

"So you keep saying," the Doctor said. He whipped out his sonic screwdriver and scanned the console. "I hope you don't mind if I take a closer look at the machinery you've plugged her into."

"Of course. I trust I don't need to remind you not to wake her."

"What is it we don't understand here?" Kyon asked. "Why don't you just tell us what this is about?"

"Because I know you have no reason to believe anything I say. It is much simpler to allow the Doctor to study the patient, using my apparatus, and ascertain the truth for himself," Rathford said, finding a chair. A prison guard appeared with a pot of fresh tea and topped him off.

"What flavor tea is that, Earl Grey?" the Doctor asked as he removed the back panel of one console and started rooting about.

Rathford lifted his cup. "Yes, Doctor. Decaffeinated, as it happens. I can't have the real thing anymore. Still, it sets me at ease."

"I could use a fresh cuppa."

Rathford pulled a sympathetic face. "I only have the one cup."

The Doctor bolted up. "What? You only own one cup?"

"The others all broke."

"And you didn't think to replace them?"

Rathford sighed. "I am sorry, but I don't really have friends over for tea all that often in my maximum security, extra-dimensional prison station. It just doesn't come up."

"Sweetie, don't get distracted," River said as she scanned the other cells with her own equipment. They were occupied, but she could not penetrate the security fields to analyze the occupants. "Who else do you keep down here, Mr. Rathford?"

"Only those prisoners we cannot release into the general population, for safety reasons," Rathford said, briefly glancing at one of the cells.

"Safety?" River cocked an eyebrow. "Whose?"

"Theirs."

...

Lieutenant Seck skulked through the dense foliage of the arboreal deck of the Oubliette, watching the prison guards marching through the brush. It had been two weeks since he managed to escape his cell by faking his death, a phony heart attack courtesy of Qwaulen's drug stash. Avoiding the incinerator was trickier, but he finally hacked into the communication's array from the air ducts and established contact with Sontar. The plan was progressing perfectly, at least until the arrival of the new guards. Seck took it upon himself to watch them. Why were they here? Were they onto him? He had to know.

Seck clenched his fist on the handle of his makeshift knife, his only weapon. The UV lamps shifted across the dome above. He watched the procession closely. One of the guards stepped up and removed her helmet. Mossy hair, rough bark skin, and a mouth that was split from ear to ear. They were Florinalls, all of them! Seck bristled at this revelation.

The Florinall guard stripped off her uniform and took her place in the center of a circle. She held her arms up, raised them high. Her toes grew long, viney, and rooted themselves into the Astroturf below. She opened her mouth all the way, until the back of her head rested against her neck. Amidst a sudden fountain of sap and muck, a series of vines and branches grew out of her throat, growing tall and sprouting leaves, as did her arms and fingers. In moments, after a painful series of spurts and blooms, the Florinall grew into a full tree.

Seck's face was twisted in disgust. Still, he found he was smiling in spite of himself. "They're changing! If they all change, we can take the prison with no resistance!" He paused and thought. But why now? Why compromise their manpower like that? What is going on?

…

Hours passed and the Omega Vault was quiet, but for the drone of a sonic screwdriver, as the Doctor analyzed Haruhi's life support and neural interface. Kyon and Koizumi stood by his side, helping the Doctor with his studies. Well, Koizumi carried things back and forth as needed while Kyon held up a pocket light. It's important to keep humans amused. River studied the room, taking stock of every asset and obstacle for an emergency, while Rathford and his guards waiting idly. He seemed certain of himself, she thought, certain that he wouldn't have to use force to get what he wanted. What sort of secret was he sitting on, and what was the endgame?

River noticed Mikuru Asahina as she sat with her face in her knees against one of the cells, watching the Doctor work. She was oozing despondence, River could sense it like a rainy day in her mind.

"Penny for your thoughts, dear?" River asked. Mikuru drew back, but did not resist as River settled down beside her.

Mikuru drew a breath and smiled. "I'll be okay," she answered.

"That's not what I asked."

"It's nothing."

River pouted. "I wasn't born yesterday, darling. This is more than your little schoolgirl act, something is bothering you."

Mikuru looked back at Haruhi and let herself go. "They sent me back to watch over Miss Suzumiya, to keep her safe. I had one job when we went to Meridian, and I failed."

"Yes, you did."

Mikuru gazed at River through a veil of tears. River was a little surprised, mostly because she'd never actually seen anyone cry enough tears to constitute a veil.

"But you know, it's not the end of the world. We found Suzumiya again, after all. No harm done," River said with a reassuring tone.

"No thanks to me."

"Now, don't be so hard on yourself. What could you have done, alone against one of those monsters? No one expected you to fight a Florinall."

Mikuru shook her head. She felt so small. "No one expects anything from me."

"I do," River smiled. Mikuru looked up as the older woman leaned in to rub shoulders. "No matter how badly you think you've failed, you have yet to show them your true potential. I think you will do great things."

"What things?"

River playfully tapped Mikuru on the nose. In doing she opened her hand and deposited a small ring box in Mikuru's lap. A gift. "Spoilers."

Mikuru smiled slightly and hid the box. Spoilers. It did sound a little better than 'classified information.'

"Here we go!" the Doctor exclaimed as he leapt to his feet, fast enough to knock down Kyon. "The equipment is functioning nominally, no tricks in the hardware or the software. Let's take a look at what's lurking in Haruhi Suzumiya's braincase." The Doctor pointed his sonic screwdriver to the dome and swiped his arm toward the nearest screen on the wall.

A squall of rotating codes flurried across the screen, vast and complex, translating into something Kyon couldn't even guess at. The Doctor stared blankly, his breathing uneven as he collated the data in his mind at lightning speed and arrived at the answer he needed.

"Oh no," the Doctor muttered gravely.

"You're not gonna say that it's impossible, are you?" Kyon asked as he pushed himself up. The Doctor turned slowly, his face aghast. "Just checking."

"I know what gave Haruhi Suzumiya her powers."

"What?"

"It's the Skasis Paradigm. Haruhi Suzumiya has cracked the Skasis Paradigm!"

…

Lieutenant Seck pulled the homemade communicator off his belt and called in. "Sir! The Florinall troops are merging with Primary Arboreal Array, their manpower is depleting itself before my eyes. In a matter of moments, we will outnumber them by 5 to 1! I believe the time to strike is now!"

…

"It can't be. Sweetie, it's not possible for one human girl to crack the Paradigm on her own! This rule-crazy codger is taking you for a ride!"

"I'm standing right here, Professor Song, and I don't appreciate the accusation," Warden Rathford said, raising his teacup. "Or the unfriendly names. And it is not a trick, this is what we discovered while mapping her cortex. We wanted to know how she could summon that beast. All the physical tests came up negative, so we ran a routine brain scan"

"But to have this equation in her mind, Miss Suzumiya should know about it! Why doesn't she know?" Mikuru asked.

"The Paradigm is incomplete, tangled in her subconscious mind," the Doctor said. "I think maybe she solved the equation, then purposefully forgot it. With that kind of power at her disposal, a specific memory purge would not have been difficult."

Kyon and Koizumi wore blank expressions in the face of the revelation. Kyon raised his hand and himself from the ground. "Hey, for those of us who don't play 'adventures in time and space,' could someone please explain what a Skasis Paradigm is? I'd like to know how shocked I need to be right now."

The Doctor raised his hands, lowered them, and collected his thoughts. "Alright. You know how Miss Nagato can bend and rewrite certain aspects of reality, via her little fast talky code tricks, right?"

"Like the brick wall back in London or the classroom back home, yeah. She can alter physical space using magic like Haruhi."

The Doctor rolled his eyes hard enough to roll his head back. "NO, it's not MAGIC, there's no such thing! She can rewrite the base code of space in little ways, cheating physics. The time lords had it too, we used it in our technology, like the enclosed space inside the TARDIS. But what we do is finite, limited by what the system of physics will allow. You can make a wall immaterial for a few seconds, dominate the reality of a small space, and program a bat to hit a cricket ball every single time. What you can't do is change the shape of a whole planet, resurrect the dead, restructure time, or close off entire worlds. You can't alter the fabric of reality without dire consequences."

"Except Haruhi, she does these things every day without even knowing it."

"Basically. Within the programming language of reality, there's an equation that allows unrestrained reprogramming of everything. The Skasis Paradigm gives the user control over the building blocks of reality."

"So… it's the ultimate cheat code, like God mode, right?"

The Doctor smiled. "Yes, that's a good word for it. The Skasis Paradigm is the cheat code. Haruhi has a remnant of it in her head."

"Okay, I can go with that. But how did it get there? Where did it come from?"

"She had to riddle it out. I've actually seen this before, a group of Krillitanes took over a London school, exposing the kids to intelligence boosters and working them daily to figure it out. They might have done it if I hadn't stopped them."

"Why children? If it was me, I would think it was easier to employ office drones or scientists," Koizumi added.

The Doctor shook his head dismissively. "Nope, wouldn't work. It takes imagination as well as intellect to crack the code. An adult couldn't possibly do it, they're too restrained."

"Neither can a single child," River added. "Even if Haruhi Suzumiya has an unlimited sense of imagination…"

"…which she kind of does," Kyon cut in.

River sighed. "Even so. One child, working alone, couldn't possibly solve the Skasis Paradigm! It would take decades!"

"Obviously, we don't know how she figured it out, but it is IN HER HEAD, and that's what gives her the power to alter reality!" the Doctor said.

"But what about the Shinjin? What about the Espers? What about Koizumi?" Kyon asked, gesturing at his classmate. "Where do they fit into all of this?"

The Doctor scanned Koizumi, an unassuming drone with the sonic screwdriver. "Well, the equation is rooted in Haruhi's subconscious mind. The deepest, darkest corner of a teenager's brain. Lots of unstable action going on, so the Shinjin release the pressure. And when things go massively wrong like that, the universe has a failsafe for it. If you create a time paradox, reality squats out a Reaper to erase the offending contradiction. If a giant energy being is about to overwrite reality, reality empowers low level psychics to cut them down. Simple."

"But they only manifest when she's under stress, which can be regulated here," Rathford said, rising steadily. "I am not the villain. I didn't bring her here to punish or exploit her, I brought her here to protect her, to protect people from her. She's too chaotic to be allowed out into the world, not when the slightest hint of depression or melancholy carries the possibility of overwriting reality."

Rathford strode up to Kyon, who stumbled back in surprise at the speed of such an old man. Rathford pointed his finger in Kyon's face, far enough to arc his back. "You! Boy! You were the first one my Florinalls encountered in their search. You know this girl personally. Tell me, how many times has your world been threatened by her unstable mind? How many times have you had to clean up a mess she created with nothing more than an idle wish? Has your very life been endangered by her? Can you honestly tell me that this girl is not a threat?"

Kyon paused, and started to speak, but Rathford turned away. "You hesitated. That speaks volumes."

"If you'd let me…"

"Doctor! You must see what I'm trying to accomplish here. You must see that this is for the best."

The Doctor glared as Rathford spun on him. "Do you really want to know what I see?"

…

In the Arboreal Array, the Florinall trees continued to grow. Their roots run deep, through the soil, between the seams in the wall, and into the internal wiring of the station. Downward and outward, the roots meshed with circuitry, and rewired everything.

…

In the main cell block, Rembrandt Yurt dislodged a panel on the wall of his cell. Within it he'd stored away all his treasures, such as they were:

Two photos, one of his parents, one of him in his garden. His only mementos of life on the outside. And all the things he didn't have by which to remember that life. It had been wasted time, he knew that now.

A cheap media player with an unreliable battery and two songs, one of which he already hated when he went into prison. A half century loop didn't make it any better. Although, that Astley song never really got old.

A collection of broken shivs, those that shattered against his shell during the year Anvelore the Evicerator was his cellmate before being executed. He could still feel the scar under his arm from the one time he was too slow. Yurt still missed him from time to time.

Fifty years' worth of trinkets and mementos of a life spent behind bars. It was funny. Before the Oubliette, Yurt was just drifting through life, keeping his head down, and now he was aiding a jailbreak. Maybe life wasn't that bad on the inside, at least not for him, but he had so few years left, and he wanted to spend them outside. Yurt reached past all of his keepsakes and removed the device, a small homemade control pad. The last twenty years of studying and pinching parts led to this moment. Time to take back his life. He gripped the controls. Time to walk tall.

…

The Doctor looked at the Warden. His face was calm, but his eyes were burning cold. "What I see, Rathford, is that you intend to keep an innocent girl locked in a room, thousands of years and a universe away from home, for the whole of her natural life. Would you ever let her wake again? Or just leave her laying there until the end of time? That's not life, that's death. Would you keep her until she passes away in her sleep? Who do you think you are, to make that choice for her, to decide that this… CHILD can't live in the world anymore? No, this will not stand, not while I'm around!"

His voice was steady, but it bubbled with something Kyon didn't expect. It was rage! He was angry! Was this the same ancient dork who fought monsters with gardening tools? Whose idea of interrogation was to get captured? Who ran around dressed like an old man because it was 'cool?' Was this really the Doctor?

River shifted her glance away from the oncoming storm as she noticed the Warden's guards were moving toward the exit. One of them entered a series of commands into the control panel near the elevator. Everyone else took notice when the elevator plunged further down the shaft with a quick but harsh metallic scrape and ejected into the vacuum of space.

River went for her sonic blaster, the Doctor for his sonic screwdriver, and Rathford strode forward, his eyes awash with outrage. "NO! What have you DONE? Without the pod, we cannot pass the checkpoints to return to the primary decks!"

Rathford attempted to reach for the guard's arm, but he was easily caught and thrown to the floor. She laughed, and Kyon easily recognized the wet, throaty cackle. "Doctor! They're Florinalls!"

River blasted the first guard, cutting it in half with a disrupter blast. The surviving guard stood still as a tree. River glanced briefly at the Doctor as he tried to flank the guard with his screwdriver outstretched.

River smirked, keeping the guard in her sights. "I'm sorry sweetie, do you intend to turn it into a cabinet?"

"Yeah," Kyon said. "I thought that thing didn't do wood."

The Doctor pouted and lowered his arm. "It… still doesn't."

The lights instantly died. There was a flash of light. When the emergency generator kicked in and the red lights came on, the guard was three feet away and sprawled on the floor, without its legs.

"Nope, not fast enough, darling," River said. "That blast has scrambled your regenerative functions. You're not getting up anytime soon."

"The primary power is offline!" Rathford wheezed, pushing himself up. "This can't happen! How is this happening?"

"It is the plan," the guard gurgled.

"Well, aren't you articulate?" The Doctor replied. "I take it you're the central command unit. The Alpha Florinall. The one who directs the pack." He looked down at Rathford. "What plan?"

"I don't know what she's talking about. She's supposed to be regulating the Florinalls, they're on the defensive now. I haven't given them any new orders since I recalled them."

River strode up and placed her boot on the Alpha Florinall's throat. "So, getting back on topic, what was that plan?"

Through a crack in her helmet, River could see the Florinall smiling.

"The Doctor must die."

There was a sudden hiss as one of the cells unlocked. The cylindrical door to the cell behind Mikuru began to sink into the floor, casting a dull blue light across the room as it did. She shivered as the air suddenly turned cold.

She turned.

She screamed, pushing herself away, terrified to stand.

The others all turned to see what she had found. Kyon saw three of them, identical, held in the air, encased in a tube of solid ice. They looked pretty strange to him. Like a set of Buddhist funeral bells made of old car parts. He chuckled, he couldn't help himself.

"I don't want to die." Kyon snapped to attention as he heard Mikuru muttering. She wasn't even crying. Like she didn't see the point anymore.

"Doctor?" River said slowly.

The Doctor drew a sharp breath. "Of course. It had to be them, didn't it? The universe has never been big enough for me to escape you. Why should this little pocket be any different?"

"What is it?" Koizumi asked. "What are they?"

The Doctor raised hands to the creatures and entirely failed to smile. "Boys, meet the Daleks."

Daleks, Kyon thought? "Wait, I've heard that name before. Awhile back, Miss Asahina mentioned something about an oncoming storm."

"Yes, it's what they call me. We go way back."

"What does this mean to us?"

"Death. Daleks are a race of mutated cybernetic conquerors, stripped of all emotions except for hate, obsessed with exterminating anything that is different." The Doctor placed a hand on Rathford's shoulder, which earned him an awkward glare. "And if I know anything, I know there is no way that your flippy little plant robots could possibly capture THREE Daleks, so how are they here?"

Rathford sighed. "No, they were not captured, they were excavated. Discovered in a glacier during a terraforming mission. They are believed to be survivors of the Time War. We couldn't destroy the glacier without the risk of releasing them, so we kept them in stasis and found a way to move them offworld. We're not even sure if they are alive."

The Daleks began flashing their headlights.

"Oh yes, they are alive," the Doctor said.

"What is that they're doing?" Koizumi asked.

"Talking," River said.

"What do you think they're saying?" Kyon asked.

"'Exterminate,'" Mikuru said, her voice shaking.

"We need to get out of here," River said.

"We can't," Rathford said. "The pod to the elevator is gone. And without the power, there is no way for me to bypass the security checkpoints between us and the primary decks, and there's no way to hack them through the deadlock seals. There's also no way to keep those Daleks frozen, either. If they're conscious enough to talk, then they're already thawing out. Even accounting for their self repairs, we only have minutes until they break out and kill us all."

"And Silence will fall," the Alpha Florinall said. River fired, disintegrating her instantly.

"You really need to reevaluate your security protocols, Warden Rathford. It seems that the wrong people have access to your office supplies," the Doctor said mildly.

"How can you joke? We're dead already, and you're being a smartass!" Rathford barked.

"Yeah, he's been like that since I met him," Kyon said. "You do have a plan for this, right Doctor?"

The Doctor sighed. "Well, yes, but it's not very good. In fact, it could get us killed just as easily."

"At this point, I'll take anything," Kyon smiled.

"We need to wake up Haruhi Suzumiya."

Kyon stopped smiling. "Huh?"

To Be Continued ... Wake Up Call

...

Author's Note: If, dear reader, you're from the Haruhi fan camp and don't know what Daleks are [and shame on you, you should], I recommend this awesome video [ /aWn_1yOFpfU ] by Youtuber Andrew Orton. It is very descriptive, but a little satirical. Being inspired by the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, it may not convey the mood I was trying to set in this chapter.

I happen to think Daleks are pretty funny looking, but I always swore to write them as killers, given the chance. That I would be faithful to their origin. So, if you want a clear picture of what it's like to stare down a Dalek, here are some better examples:

/jIjUSzpYcuA

/uaJ7TpW91Wc

/1aFYkEnv5v0

/hVwXa4MnJDs

[I know, they're not links. FFnet won't let me post complete links, despite providing the option for it in this word processor thing they've got here. It's fine, just paste those lines into youtube, you'll find what I'm referring to]


	9. Wake Up

And here we go again.

I don't think the next chapter will be ready before new years, but I'll do my best.

I'm currently planning a web comic which should take up a considerable amount of my time when this story is over. I will provide links to it in the final chapter.

I hope you've all been enjoying this as much as I enjoy writing it.

Wake Up

The girl with yellow ribbon and the old man strode through the halls down to the repair shop. This was it, there was no going back. She would miss her mother and father, she would miss the city. But she was sick of Gallifrey, tired of a boring, predictable life, just as much as grandfather. It was time for something new. It was time for an adventure.

Grandfather took his time, befuddled for a moment. Some technician had recommended a different TARDIS, one with a busted navigator. "Oh my dear, don't fret. We'll have a lot more fun this way," he'd said.

That was the kind of man he was. The girl smiled as he threw the lever and felt the pod shift and spin away into the time stream. Next stop, EVERYWHERE.

…

KALED

SKARO

DAVROS

TIME WAR

…

Haruhi Suzumiya woke with a gasp. There was Kyon, standing by her side with a look of trepidation. Itsuki beside him looking cautious. Mikuru hiding behind them trying to be invisible. On the opposite side of her bed, there was the woman, the foreigner, with wavy blonde hair and a sly look about her. River, Haruhi thought. She knew her. How did she know her? And beside her was the old man with the sour face and the single cup of tea. Rathford. How did she know their names?

Then she looked ahead as a young man in a bow tie withdrew his hands from her head. The Doctor. He'd dropped everything into her mind, everything she'd ever missed. Who Nagato was. What Koizumi could do. When Asahina came from. How Kyon hid it all. And where she was now. She knew everything, as if remembering a long forgotten secret.

Haruhi tugged her arms up, finding them tangled in IVs and various cables and wires. "Kyon? Could you get me out of here?" she asked in the most innocent voice she could manage. "This kinda hurts."

The members of the SOS Brigade rushed forward to help. Koizumi retracted the helmet. Kyon unplugged the IV bag. Mikuru rubbed Haruhi's hand in reassurance. They plucked, pulled, extracted and untangled their bedridden leader, until she was free enough to grab Kyon by his tie, pull him in close, and smack him across the face.

The Doctor adjusted his tie as Kyon tumbled to the ground. "This is what's cool about bow ties," he said quipped. "You just can't do that sort of thing with a bow tie." Haruhi leapt from her bed and descended on Kyon. She assailed him with a flurry of slaps and smacks, growling in her wordless frustration.

"I am sure Miss Suzumiya can prove you wrong," Koizumi said as he and Mikuru watched the mayhem unfold.

"YOU JERK! ALL THIS TIME! Everything I ever wanted, staring me right in the face, and you NEVER SAID ANYTHING!" Haruhi shouted as she rained Kyon with blows. It was slap fighting at this point, but he still had to shield himself.

"Haruhi, if you think back hard enough, you'll remember that I DID tell you. I told you EVERYTHING. In DETAIL. And you didn't BELIEVE me!" Kyon shouted back, their arms tangling as he tried to rein in her attacks.

Haruhi glowered. "WHEN?"

"After the culture fest? After our movie premiered? We went to a coffee shop, and I told you ALL this!"

Haruhi curled her lips. "THAT DIDN'T COUNT! Of course I wouldn't believe a load of garbage like that!"

Kyon grunted. "Oh no, of course not. But I DID tell you."

"IDIOT!"

"Daleks," the Doctor said.

Haruhi Suzumiya froze. "Kaled. Skaro. Davros," she muttered in a trance. A flash of implanted memories played out in her mind. Centuries of conflict cutting a bloody swath across the universe. She looked up at the Doctor. "Time War?"

"We need to leave, now," the Doctor said. "Surely you can beat up Kyon anytime?"

"Uh, yeah," she stood up and turned to the Daleks, still frozen in the ice, but flashing theirs lights. She then glanced around the room. "Where's Yuki? Shouldn't she be here too?"

"She sort of shut down when we arrived," Kyon said as he lifted himself up, expecting no help from Haruhi and not at all surprised when it didn't come. "Somehow this environment doesn't agree with her. She's waiting in the TARDIS."

Rathford leaned in next to the Doctor. "You realize what you've done? You've exposed her to us, to this. What will you do when her emotions begin to spin out of control in the face of this madness?"

"Don't worry, it's a small universe, not that much reality to work with. Everything is under control. Mostly. We'll be fine," the Doctor whispered back before addressing the room. "Right, now it's time to gather up and get ready to leave. We have a long climb ahead of us."

Haruhi shuffled up to the ice block, slick and shining as it melted. The Dalek closest to her seemed to flash its headlights more intensely. She held out her hand to feel the ice, but the Doctor crossed arms and swept her away from the cell.

"All those memories I put in your head, and your first instinct is to go toward them? Suddenly I understand why Kyon is always so grumpy."

Haruhi fidgeted. "Can't I just touch one of them? I've never seen an alien before."

"You've seen me."

"That doesn't count! You look like some dopey otaku pretending to be a professor. They don't even have legs, they're way more alien than you."

"My dear, the last time a companion of mine touched a Dalek, it killed dozens of people and almost destroyed Salt Lake City."

Haruhi froze, then glanced at the Doctor. "Whoa, really?"

"Yes, so no touching."

"Doctor," Kyon said. "You never explained how this was going to get us out of here. We still don't have an elevator, and we can't bypass all those checkpoints without it."

"I see a way out," Koizumi said. He ran his hand through the air in front of the elevator door. "Was this you, Doctor?"

"Oh yes," the Doctor said. "Well spotted. Now, once we're in the shaft, we'll have a clear run straight to the upper decks, but it won't stay clear for long. I estimate we'll have five minutes before the first one appears. We may not reach the primary decks before the fight starts."

Rathford spluttered. "What are you talking about? What clear run? What fight? What have you done now?"

"You, we'll need to carry. Once we're inside, of course. Keep a tight hold on that teacup," the Doctor smiled, nudging Rathford. "LISTEN UP! Do exactly as I say or you will remain behind to face the Daleks! Everyone gather up behind Koizumi, single file, with at least one hand gripped onto the shoulder of the person in front of you. Keep your eyes closed and DO NOT LET GO for anything!"

Everyone lined up, exactly as the Doctor instructed. Koizumi stood at the front of the line, gazing at the elevator from three yards away. The Doctor, River, and Rathford held up the back of the line, with Rathford hanging on to River's shoulders for dear life.

River shivered at his touch and whispered to the Doctor. "I hope you know what you're doing."

"Never, but I've got a good feeling about this one," the Doctor said. He gave a thumbs up as Koizumi looked back. "We're ready!"

"All right," Koizumi shouted, looking ahead. "Now close your eyes and follow my lead!"

Kyon and Haruhi marched in step with the line. Both her hands clenching his shoulders like a vice and her eyes held shut. Kyon remembered their time in class, when Haruhi would pull on his tie or his jacket to get his attention. As they stepped forward, they experienced a mild sensation. Warm and enveloping, like walking into a thick cloud of smoke. Then, nothing.

"You can open your eyes now."

When Haruhi opened her eyes, the world had turned dark and gray. The lights had gone out, but they seemed to be a haze in the air that allowed her to make out Kyon's shoulders.

The Doctor released the line and whipped out his sonic screwdriver, buzzing the lights back on. They were still in the Omega Vault, but it was different now. The walls drained of what little color they had. And the cell behind them was empty.

"They're gone!" Mikuru exclaimed, expectant. "The Daleks have disappeared!"

"No, we did." Kyon said. "This is Closed Space."

"That's right," Koizumi stated. "The Daleks are still there, we've simply moved into a pocket dimension just outside of real space."

The Doctor stepped up and buzzed the elevator. "Funny thing about Closed Space, it's created from nothing, a shadow of the waking world. It only manifests when Miss Suzumiya is under stress. And, here's something you may not know, it's programmable. You can alter the conditions." The elevator door opened. The Doctor jumped through it, only to stand on the wall instead of falling straight down. Everyone looked astonished as gravity oriented to the far wall of the shaft. After a moment's hesitation, they jumped down one by one to join him.

Haruhi Suzumiya gazed down the long glass and steel tunnel to the massive space station on the other end. With no sun or stars to illuminate, it twinkling like a diamond in dark. She was breathing heavily, her eyes moist with tears. "It's beautiful," she whispered, gripping Kyon's arm with one hand.

"It's impossible! The shaft is still open!" Rathford shouted, looking down the other end of the tunnel and seeing the open shaft. "We should have all been pulled into the vacuum of space just now!" Rathford said.

"Good grief, you are such a downer! Different rules in Closed Space," the Doctor grinned, "and I programmed this one myself. The pressure and atmosphere outside the station is the same as inside. It seemed safer. The lights and doors have power, but the security countermeasures are dead, so there's your clear run. But we have to hurry, or we'll be facing something arguably worse than Daleks and plasma turrets."

"The Shinjin," Kyon said. "We have to reach the primary decks before it catches us."

"Outrunning the Shinjin isn't enough," Koizumi said, walking toward the open shaft. "However many appear, they need to be destroyed in order for us to return to reality, and the TARDIS. Otherwise, this Closed Space will remain until the Shinjin destroys this station, and we're dead."

The Doctor looked at Koizumi, then grabbed him by the shoulders. "Remember Itsuki, this isn't like fighting on Earth. This is an airless void, it's only the Closed Space that allows you to survive. Once you destroy the Shinjin, you have to board the station immediately, before that Closed Space breaks down and you die in seconds. If you cannot reach us in time, just get in anywhere. Whatever damage is done to the station will disappear once reality shifts back."

Kyon walked up to him. "Koizumi, have you ever destroyed a Shinjin on your own before?"

Koizumi waved his concern away. "I can handle this. I won't fail."

"You better not, Deputy Brigade Leader!" Haruhi commanded. "You better come back."

"Yes, ma'am," Koizumi smiled, as he turned and stepped off into the black, vanishing.

"Right then," the Doctor said, taking the lead up the shaft. "It's time. Geronimo!"

…

Lieutenant Seck opened the doors to the communications array. Deserted! Not just the Florinall guards, but all the regular staff were gone. There were no bodies, no blood, not even a pile of disintegrated matter. It was as if they had simply abandoned ship. Seck checked the computer, it was down. All the ship's higher functions were inactive.

"General Strom, the prison staff is missing. No signs of struggle. They could be hiding," Seck radioed in.

"Affirmative. We have taken the main cell block with only minimal resistance. This was too easy," Strom reported back. He sounded bored, and that was never good.

"Not that easy, sir. The comms are down, I cannot contact Sontar. They received our last report a week ago, they know we are attempting a breakout, but they cannot render assistance until we take the station and send them a signal. As it is, we have nothing to send with. We are, for the moment, on our own."

…

"Where did you get that outfit, Mikuru?" Haruhi asked between breaths as she jumped over the arm of a bionic circular saw ninja, one of the many security countermeasures guarding the checkpoints on the road to the primary decks.

"Huh?" Mikuru Asahina squeaked. She was struggling at the back of the group, trying desperately to keep up with their brisk pace.

"Because I am loving it! Not as much as the maid outfit, but red is definitely your color. We're keeping that one for the cosplay rack! Is that what everyone wears in the future?"

"No," Kyon said. "The Doctor took us to Victorian England to set a trap. We were there a while, we had to blend in."

Haruhi blinked. "Victorian England?! What? How long was I out?"

"A while! Best not to dwell on it!" the Doctor called out from the front of the pack as he leapt over the electrified spikes.

Kyon laid his hand on her shoulder. "We never left your side, Haruhi, not if we could help it."

Haruhi blushed and shrugged. "Of course not! I'm your leader, where would you be without me?"

"At home, enjoying a quiet weekend like a normal person," Kyon said.

"We're in the middle of a grand adventure and you still find time to complain. Typical," Haruhi huffed.

"Actually, I'm inclined to agree with him, young lady," said Rathford. He was dangling between the shoulders of River and the Doctor like cat between two charging camels as they crossed a deactivated web of plasma lasers. "This is not an ideal circumstance."

"Why didn't we just leave him, sweetie? He's dragging us down!" River asked.

"I heard that," Rathford said.

"Oh, shut up!" River snapped.

"What, leave him to the Daleks? No, no way! That is not how I do things! No one deserves to suffer like that!" the Doctor said.

"Clearly you've never been on the receiving end of his bedside manner."

"What, you and him?" the Doctor asked, perplexed and slightly disgusted. "I thought you married me?"

"No, I mean, he's an overbearing, rule-crazy, inflexible, insensitive bastard who'd rather hassle people than sleep when his body is crying for it!" River spat.

"You really don't care about my feelings at all, do you?" Rathford asked flippantly

"You had me waiting in the security office of the Meridian transit authority for four hours of questioning over a long dismissed murder charge while you yourself ran on nothing but coffee injections and a refurbished Morpheus pod! Have you even considered the possibility that maybe, just maybe, if I'd reached the TARDIS before your Florinall grew itself back, Meridian would never have been attacked and none of this would have happened?"

"Have you considered," asked the Doctor, "that doing that would have created a rather nasty paradox?"

"How did you know all that about me?" Rathford asked.

River shot him a glance over their shoulders. "It was written all over your face."

There was a great flash of light from beyond the station. Everyone stopped at liquid nitrogen jets and looked up to see what was happening. They weren't in sight yet, but Haruhi could see the first sign. Shimmers of light radiated from the edge of the station, like a solar eclipse. Soon, a great hand reached around and dug into the surface of the Oubliette. The surface was translucent and made of pure energy.

"Okay," the Doctor said, as he helped River heave Rathford higher onto their shoulders. "Run!"

They all scrambled into a desperate sprint to reach the primary decks as the Shinjin emerged from the far side of the station, tearing away at the hull and throwing chunks of debris into the empty space. Kyon and Haruhi ran side by side, parting only to pass River and the Doctor at the poisoned arrow frog water cannon checkpoint.

"WE CAN STILL LEAVE RATHFORD BEHIND, YOU KNOW!" River screamed as the younger pair passed.

"NOBODY DIES! NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND!" The Doctor shouted as he caught his second wind and pulled the trio ahead.

"WE'RE ALMOST THERE! WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT!" Haruhi shouted as they crossed the last checkpoint [high frequency sonic bowel disrupter] before the lower deck.

"HELP! I CAN'T..!"

Haruhi and Kyon looked back to see that Mikuru was out of breath and unbalanced, dragging herself along at the previous checkpoint, beside a mounted blood-seeking rail gun.

"I GOT HER!" Kyon called, skidding to a halt and bolting toward her. Haruhi watched him intently, but kept the pace until she fell through the elevator door and dropped onto the floor of the lowest level. She rolled out of the way as the Doctor and River slid down beside her with Rathford in tow.

The shaft filled with light as Kyon slid down to gather Mikuru and drag her to her feet. "NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND. MOVE!"

The Shinjin lifted its hand as Kyon and Mikuru rushed to meet the rest of their friends. He glanced over her shoulder as that hand began to swing. Kyon swung his own body, and heaved Mikuru ahead of him as the giant palm slapped the shaft right off the surface of the station just as she slid through the last door and onto the ground. Through the glass floor, Haruhi watched as Kyon was slammed against the wall of the shaft as he and it were catapulted out across the surface of the station and into the dark.

Haruhi watched the spectacle, trembling in mute horror, she ran in his direction until she hit a wall. Her heart was pounding, and a pit formed in her gut and swirled into a storm of terror as she saw him shrink in the distance.

"KYOOOOOON!"

…

Kyon blinked, amazed to be alive, until he saw the station swing into view, and then away again. His body spinning as he flew away from the Oubliette, and the Shinjin crawling over its surface like a spider.

Kyon sighed. He remembered the day Ryoko Asakura almost killed him in the classroom after hours with that hunting knife of hers. There was a certainty to his fate when she had him cornered, he was reminded of that. Only Yuki wouldn't be coming to save him now.

"I was living on borrowed time anyway," he said.

There was a flash of red, and suddenly the spinning stopped as Koizumi swept up under his arm. "Would you like me to lend you some more time?" They swung back around and headed back to the station.

Kyon grinned. "I could use a little, yeah. Just throw me into one of the holes on deck. I'll figure it out from there."

Koizumi slowed down as they approached the station and released Kyon into a clump of greenery hanging out of the surface, right into the Arboreal Array. Koizumi then picked up speed as he flew right into the belly of Shinjin, tearing through it like a bullet, dragging viscous light matter behind him in a bolt of crimson energy.

…

Haruhi Suzumiya collapsed onto her knees, her face blank as the Shinjin started batting at the red streak in the dark, clutching its belly to slow the loss of matter. Her breathing was uneven, her body trembling. It just didn't seem real.

Mikuru Asahina watched her anxiously, inching forward. "Miss Suzumiya, I…"

"Just shut up for a second," Haruhi commanded in a low tone.

Mikuru flinched and backed away.

The Doctor's phone rang. He answered, and broke out in a toothy grin. "Kyon's okay! Koizumi saved him!"

Haruhi and Mikuru whipped their heads around at the news.

"He's in the Arboreal Array, about ten decks above the main cell block."

Haruhi shot across the room, snatched the phone from the Doctor's hand and yelled into it. "Don't SCARE US like that, you IDIOT!"

"Heh, fine by me," Kyon answered. "Are you guys okay? Did Miss Asahina make it? I didn't see."

"Yeah, she made it, she's alright," Haruhi turned. Mikuru was sobbing, wringing her hands together in with joy. "I mean, she's crying like a baby, but she'll be fine. Where are you again?"

"In… a forest, actually. They've got a garden up here, there are trees and everything."

"A forest on a space station? I guess they grow their own food?"

"They could," the Doctor explained, "but the Arboreal Array is designed primarily for the atmospheric systems. It's a lot more common than you'd think, and this old tub wasn't designed for a Florinall crew. Can I have that back now?"

Haruhi handed the phone over with a smirk.

"Kyon, get back to the head office, the TARDIS is there. Plus, that's where primary control systems are kept. We need to reach it before the Daleks do. If we're very, very, VERY lucky, we can initiate the separation procedure from there before the Daleks breach the Omega Vault."

"Can't you do it from down there?"

"Bureaucratic mentality, everything needs approval from the top. I never said it was smart. But you've got a lead on us, you can reach the head office before the Daleks do. Call me back when you get there."

A giant finger crashed through the floor beneath them, clawing at the air beside the Doctor. He glanced at it without turning, a scrutinizing expression on his face as the others backed away. It suddenly quivered and fell to the floor, severed at the knuckle by the red streak.

"And now I think it would be a good idea if we all moved deeper into the station. T-T-Y-L!" The Doctor hung up the phone.

…

The lights in the Omega Vault blinked back on as power returned to the station. A thick green ichor coating the floor as dripping vines branched out and tied themselves together. As their connection grew stronger, the vines grew taut, pulling two masses of greenish brown flesh together. The Florinall quivered once, as her nervous system began to reactivate. Then again as the green goo was washed away by a flood of ice water, chilling her. There was a low beat, a pulse in the air. It was steady and strong.

The Florinall began to lift itself up, vision blurred. She looked into the ominous shape hunched over the console… no, not hunched. There was nothing to hunch. It was a solid shape. They had awakened.

"ALERT! ALERT! THE FLORINALL HAS REGENERATED! INCINERAAAATE!" She turned in time to see another Dalek take aim and fire. The Florinall was instantly vaporized in a flash of blue light.

"IT IS DONE," the two Daleks turned to the third, emerging from behind the remains of the ice prison. It glided over the floor, making no contact with the blood and ice water. "REPORT! IDENTIFY LOCATION!"

The Dalek at the computer terminal swiveled its dome to make eye contact. "LOCATION: OUBLIETTE, PRISON STATION, IN THE SERVICE OF THE ORION FEDERATION! DIMENSIONAL POCKET DETECTED, WE ARE OUTSIDE THE UNIVERSE!"

"WE MUST RE-ESTABLISH CONTACT WITH DALEK HIGH COMMAND, WE MUST HAVE ORDERS!"

"AFFIRMATIVE!"

The Dalek by the computer twisted its manipulator arm and faced its superior. "THE DATABASE HAS BEEN DOWNLOADED! NEW INFORMATION IS AVAILABLE!"

"EXPLAIN!"

"A PRISONER HAS BEEN IDENTIFIED AS A CARRIER OF THE SKASIS PARADIGM! HARUHI SUZUMIYA! SHE WAS LAST REPORTED ABOARD THE STATION! IN THIS VERY ROOM!"

The lead Dalek scanned the room, swiveling its eyestalk carefully. "SHE ESCAPED?"

"NEGATIVE! SURVEILLANCE SHOWS THE PRISONER DISAPPEARED." The Dalek at the terminal paused, to collate its data based on the environmental readings. "ANAMOLOUS DIMENSIONAL SHIFT IS DETECTED. NO TRANSMAT SIGNAL. CONCLUSION: SUBJECT HARUHI SUZUMIYA HAS SLIPPED THE DIMENSIONAL PLANE AND IS STILL ABOARD THE STATION. DIMENSIONAL RIFT IS UNSTABLE. SHE WILL RESURFACE ON THIS PLANE."

"EXCELLENT! LOCATE THE PRISONER! LOCATE! THE SKASIS PARADIGM WILL MAKE THE DALEKS VICTORIOUS!"

"WARNING! THE TARDIS HAS BEEN LOCATED ON THE FIRST LEVEL! THE DOCTOR IS ABOARD!"

"THE DOCTOR MUST BE EXTERMINATED!" The second Dalek shrieked.

"PRIORITIES! LOCATE HARUHI SUZUMIYA FOR SURGICAL INTERROGATION! EXTERMINATE THE DOCTOR ON SIGHT! RE-ESTABLISH CONTACT WITH THE UNIVERSE! SUMMON THE FLEET! EXTERMINATE ALL RESISTANCE! THE DALEKS ARE SUPREME!"

"I OBEY!"

…

The Shinjin held up its stump of a hand in time to watch the entire arm fall apart, cut off at the wrist, elbow and shoulder in a flash of red light.

Itsuki Koizumi orbited the station in erratic circles at breakneck speed, cutting through the Shinjin from multiple angles within seconds of each other, too fast for the lumbering giant to follow. He smiled as the Shinjin grasped at empty space. It was clearly at a disadvantage crawling along the surface of the station.

He cut through each knee, limiting its maneuverability, before crippling the remaining arm at the elbow, then severing it completely. The Shinjin thrashed as Koizumi bore down from the top of the station and plowed straight through its head. It convulsed, only one shot left now.

Koizumi flew in a corkscrew pattern around the Shinjin from the head to the thighs, cutting right it. He watched as the entire body fell apart, the remains dispersing into the black like windswept snow.

Koizumi scanned the station quickly, remembering the Doctor's warning, and dove through a gash in the surface of the station on deck one, the administration office, just as he heard a crack form in the skin of the universe.

…

The Doctor opened a hatch and peered into the massive circular room. As River and Mikuru helped lift Rathford up out of the narrow passage, Haruhi spun around taking in the empty space.

"Doctor, what's this room?" she asked, unable to see through the darkness.

"Main cell block. This area should be fairly safe, but we'll need to get a little higher before…"

There was a great and terrible noise as the Closed Space split, cracked, and shattered, and in that moment, the room filled with light and violent shouting. Every light was red, every gate and cell door was open, the floor was full of people fighting and shoving one another. The Doctor could see Slitheens, Sontarans, and a mess of other multiformed alien creatures, some of whom he swore he knew personally.

One Sontaran stood still and stared in shocked silence at them. "It's him. SIR! IT'S THE DOCTOR!"

The entire room stopped and stared. Haruhi could hear a ripple of grunts, guffaws, and whispered tones pass through the crowd, zeroing in on the Doctor.

Another Sontaran emerged from the rabble, followed closely behind by a tall man in loose fitting robes and a man-sized tortoise who seemed very familiar to Haruhi. The Sontaran smiled.

"I must say, this is an unexpected treat! The warden AND the Doctor, delivered to me on a silver platter. I've been looking forward to seeing you again, after you left me to the mercy of that bastard over there."

The Doctor rubbed his hands together and smiled. "Well, it's nice to be remembered."

…

Kyon watched through the hole in the wall as the universe split and the Closed Space came undone. As the cracks spread, the hole disappeared, as if the wall that had been there was coming into focus. Kyon then noticed that standing before him was a tree wearing a soldier's uniform. He spun around to see he was surrounded by several trees in uniform. Their roots had broken up the floor beneath him to reveal essential wiring, destroyed by the undergrowth. The Florinalls were behind the sabotage, they'd known that much, but this was beyond Kyon's expectations. He looked around for a way out, and spotted a door. As he approached, it failed to open.

Kyon reached into his pocket and pulled out the sonic screwdriver the Doctor had left with him. He buzzed the door, and as it opened, someone tackled him from behind.

As his face slammed into a patch of dirt, he felt a knife against his throat. He looked around to see a Sontaran soldier hunched over him on the other end of the knife. Kyon laid his hands on the ground in submission.

"You're a Sontaran, right?" Kyon asked. "A soldier. You don't have to be afraid, I'm not armed. My name is… John Smith. I'm a friendly."

"I know who you are," Lieutenant Seck growled. "Your face may have changed, but your presence is unmistakable. You are the Doctor, and you're going to help me escape."

To Be Continued

As ever, this story is a writing experiment, and I require feedback.


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